[tiodlliwi]

Someone close to me once told me that "Things will work out... if you just let them." I sometimes have a hard time believing that and dealing with the daily challenges life throws your way. I pick apart, analyze, and worry about almost everything. Here's the latest...

My husband and I both work full time. My husband is in customer service and myself in social services. Needless to say, we make a modest living. I have a college degree and he does not. I can honestly say, when I married my husband, I never once worried that we wouldn't have enough money and I never once expected him to be the bread winner. I am more than willing to take on that role. However, sometimes he gets worn out from work and talks about wanting to make a career-change. But he doesn't know what else he would/could do to make an equivalent living. While this sometimes scares me, particularly when I think of having a child in a couple of years. I don't love him for his career or how much money he makes. I, of course, want him to be happy but when I think about the future, I often times get overwhelmed with worry. He says he would never just up and quit, he would do whatever it takes to support us or our future family, and we often talk about how wonderful it would be if he could be a part-time stay-at-home Dad. I love that he is "man" enough to think that is cool.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that, my anxiety sometimes just makes the future seem so SCARY and insecure. I'm totally afraid of the "unknown". But whose future is actually secure? Who has all their "ducks in a row"? Who has their entire life planned out? And, more importantly, whose life actually stays in line with all of those plans?

My heart tells me that we've overcome so much, have a really special love and appreciation of each other, and even though it's just us two, we are a family. And you stick with family and have faith in each other, and just know that things WILL work out if you let them. But it's easier said than done...

I guess I just need some cheering on right now. Life is tough and sometimes we just need people to cheer us on from the sidelines and tell us to keep going!!!

My daughter & her husband are 30 & lawyers in high -stress & time consuming jobs. They want to have a baby but are waiting for the "right" time. They plan to move to a lower-stress town, where she can get a job with less hours that would allow her time to have a meaningful relationship with the baby.

The firm she is at now has no provisions for part-time work for mothers. Most of the female lawyers don't have kids & if they do, they have personal assistants & nannies. My daughter doesn't want to go that route. But their plans could not pan out as anticipated. What if the small town cannot support two lawyers? What if she has a difficult pregnancy & can't work? There are so many things that could go wrong, but I think you have to go forward & not be immobilized by the what if's.

My husband says there is no "perfect" time to have a baby. Your life is going to be disrupted & carefully made plans may backfire, but raising children was the highlight of his life (mine, too, except I spent so much time in depression, which I regret terribly). We weren't "broke" but close! But we were young (I was 22) & he was in college so we shopped at Goodwill, etc., & it all worked out.

As long as you are not being totally irresponsible , like living on welfare or barely making ends meet, or have no insurance (that daughter was 2 1/2 mos. early--boy, did we need that insurance from my work--it still took us 5 years to pay our portion of the hospital bill), or a drug/alcohol problem, unstable relationship, etc. Those should be concerns that are addressed, but worrying about the what if's really can steal some incredible experiences from your life.--Suzy

[sabby]

One thing my husband made me understand was this -

In life, no matter how much you worry, things always work out in some way, shape or form. And, you always get what you NEED. The trick is a little preparation when looking at changing things in your life and keeping your eyes open for possibilities along the way.

Granted, we may not always get what we think we want or need, but, in reality, sometimes its a good thing we don't! Only hindsight is 20/20 and I find the fun of living is taking chances now and again....with a plan of course. Yes, it's stressful, but it can be exciting and fun too!

Wish you well and hope you can both come up with some ideas for your future....remember to breathe

Hugssss
Jean