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#1
Apr 17, 2011, 12:34 PM
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I have a problem with people. Not really at first but once I get to know them it seems.. I don't know. The people I talk to are almost.. 1 dimensional. There is a personality, but it's very much alike to everyone else's personality, there aren't any deep thoughts, original humor, and I get bored. I don't know if it's because they're kids my age and well the average kid my age lacks a lot of life changing events that mold a personality into a wonderful unique piece of art.. but I'm tired of interacting with the exact same rectangle clay block that every personality seems to be.
I don't know.. is it me? I mean other people have no problem making a million friends.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#2
Apr 17, 2011, 12:41 PM
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It's not just you. And, in my experience, it never changes either. I graduated high school and thought "yay! no more drama!". Well that was total BS. College was no different. Then I graduated college and thought "yay! now there REALLY is no more drama!" Well that was BS too. I have learned that most graduated students are egotistical jerks who have to be right all the time and act just like a 15 year old who thinks they know everything. They're condescending and they hate everything unless it's NOT mainstream. Basically they are who they claim to hate. Elitists and pretentious would be my best descriptions.
It sucks but then you find that 1 or 2 people that you really can connect with and it makes them that much cooler. |
 LittleForgetMeNot
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#3
Apr 17, 2011, 12:50 PM
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Oh I agree, it's not just you. I've struggled with this for many years and have preferred to be a loner. In my mind it beats being around people who are ignorant, close minded, superficial, unoriginal, etc, etc. In general, I can say that I have an immense dislike for people. I've always been different in my thoughts, beliefs and in my interests...finding it difficult to find another who is on the same page or wavelength as I.
I have found one or two people who I truly connect with but they are across country. Hopefully you will find a friend or two one day soon that you will have a connection with. Until then, just know you are not alone  -Jess
__________________
"Trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs. There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb. Try to hold this under control, they can't help me cause no one knows" - 3 doors down "changes" |
| LittleForgetMeNot
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#4
Apr 17, 2011, 01:09 PM
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hi little, no it's certainly not you. perhaps you're mature for your age and need to find ppl with similar interests as you. a lot of ppl just don't have much depth. one thing you can try is ask them questions about themselves. you may find a common interest that way.
i read your profile-social phobia. this could cause you to not feel totally comfortable meeting ppl to cultivate into friends. takes practice. i like to go to barnes and noble and sit in a comfy chair around a coffee table. usually there are at least 4 comfy chairs. i've made friends there. since they like to read or explore a topic it can be a stimulating conversation. especially cause we don't have to quiet unlike the library.   you have a lot of interests. why not join a social group in your community that has one of those interests? the newspaper usually lists them and the next time they meet. if you meet someone you enjoy chatting with invite them to do something with you. that's a good start. happy conversing!!!
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| LittleForgetMeNot
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#5
Apr 17, 2011, 01:16 PM
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I think the casual meeting of people, in class, at most meetings/neighbor situations has to be shallow; no one can very easily start getting to know someone by saying, "Hi there, I've been a mental ward inpatient, how about you?" I think shallow-seeming lives are often a disguise or avoidance technique to keep more difficult things at bay and if we were around those people more, listened to their comments as they watched "American Idol" (I can't stand it), we might find more spots we could connect with. If I have a very immediate/strong reaction and don't like a shallow-seeming person I look harder at myself, see what I'm trying to escape! Often, for me, such feelings are projections, fear I'll be seen as a certain way I don't want to be.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#6
Apr 17, 2011, 01:33 PM
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I dislike people too! It sends me into this weird spiral, because then I'm like, what wait. We're all born equal, so there's no way most people aren't good people... I must just be looking at it wrong. Then my brain gets exhausted trying to make the world big enough for all the good in people and all the bad in them too (lol perhaps it is part of my OCD tendencies? I like things symmetrical). Anyhow I'm sure you know what I mean, it's no fun disliking people.
 Soo.... I try to stick to the position that the world sucks, and that's ok, but it's ok to be open to people if they happen to be great. Which sometimes they are!
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#7
Apr 17, 2011, 02:57 PM
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hey there, one thing is I'm not sure how old you are - and that's ok, no need to tell. My experience with this isn't quite the same as yours I think, but I defintely remember when I was in elementary school thinking how stupid some of what the other kids were doing was. How stupid the jokes were, and looking forward to getting older for that. Same thing in high school - I was waiting for the stupidity to end, especially (no offense to anyone) for the boys because at that age in my area the boys think it's 'cool' to act a certain way which I consider dumb.
And here I am, 23, in college now. And I still see so much stupidity! BUT. I have also met people who go deeper than what they seem. I've found that sometimes people hide themselves among others, some people dumb themselves down, and some people just... well... are that way. And there's no telling what they're like until you get to know them for a while, get them one-on-one, etc. So don't give up, and keep looking for the deeper side of people, sometimes it's there. Also, where are you meeting new people right now? Again I don't know how old you are - in high school and younger, you really only meet people through school and that really narrows down who you're going to meet. In college you have a wider array of options in those respects... maybe you can find a club or some activity you enjoy in which you can meet people more like yourself? Remember it takes time sometimes to brick through that clay block - for some people they have an outer clay block they put on infront of new people
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#8
Apr 17, 2011, 03:25 PM
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I have always been one for having a few close friends rather than a big bunch. But I naively thought people would get nicer as I got older... and more mature... apparently I was wrong >.< I don't mind lack of 'dimensions' as such but so many people seem so... well, anti-nice. So judgmental/impatient. And 22-30 year old classmates are still not averse to making fun of the prof's stutter during lectures.
But yeah there are also lots of really great people! You just gotta look deeper/wider to find them sometimes
__________________
What if you slept? And what if in your sleep you dreamed?
And what if in your dreams you went to heaven and there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if when you awoke you had the flower in your hand? Ah! What then? Samuel Taylor Coleridge |
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#9
Apr 17, 2011, 06:32 PM
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Quote:
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#10
Apr 18, 2011, 12:04 AM
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Even if people are a little boring to me I still try to keep talking to them, waiting for the day when suddenly a sentence sparks my interest, and leads me on a path to discover the hidden unique qualities I hadn't seen before. Sadly, I haven't much luck so far.
The friends I have found interesting in the beginning have ended up laughing at the pain they had inflicted upon me in the end. I'm suspicious now of people, even more so of girls my age (I'm 16). A girl I used to be friends with and who made it her life goal to ruin my life, is still trying to get back around me to cause me more emotional distress. She's literally a stalker and I'm so tired of dealing with it. The boredom I think is just that I've been going through the same cycle with people my entire life. Friends, big drama, and then crash and burn. Friends again with the same person, drama, burn. Friends again, drama, burn. It's like watching the same movie, and it's not even a good movie, everyday for three years.
__________________
~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~
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#11
Apr 25, 2011, 01:00 AM
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I found out i'm really quite boring, but even I find some people boring, and the people who I find interesting are not at my social level... it makes me go bah humbug
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#12
May 27, 2014, 01:52 PM
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I'm tired of people, and web articles, assuming that I avoid socializing because I'm afraid. I'm not afraid at all..I'm bored. I'm in therapy and I find therapists interesting. I'm supposed to go out and find people in my community interesting instead. Apparently not going to happen. I've never met anyone yet who enjoys talking about topics of any depth or consequence. Maybe I will just have to therapist hop forever.
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#13
May 27, 2014, 02:57 PM
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if someone happens to be too shallow or isn't interested in any deep conversation I just move on, doesn't make me better than them or them being boring, just different. Move on and find people that you can find common interests with.
Perhaps you're just not getting close enough to anyone? Everyone seems kind of fake and shallow at first because until we trust other people we don't show ourselves fully. Don't write people off until you get to know them well enough to know whether you have common interests to share. |
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