My mother is making me crazy part 1,896,372,123

Since my grandson has been born I see much more of my mother than I have in years. I know that it's a wonderful thing for my grandson, the more love he gets the happier he'll be, but OMG the woman is making me crazy.

She will not drive to or in the city my daughter lives in. So that means she'll drive to my house and someone will have to come here and drive her the hour + to my daughters. We can't just come here and grab her, no, for a three day stay she literally has four suitcases. FOUR! She doesn't want to repack the car so that means someone will have to drive her down in her car. This makes my sons uneasy as the car is brand new and there is a lot of road construction and a lot of frustrated drivers.

Thursday was my twins, (my babies) 21st birthday. He was going out with his friends and his sisters. I'm babysitting the grand kids. No problem. Problem: My mom decided to come for the weekend. I am not going to drive an infant and a four year old 2 1/2 hours round trip to pick her up. So I talked to the kids, I'd keep the babies at my house then they could come back for the weekend. All because my mother was going to take vacation on Wednesday to come down for a long weekend.

Long story short, I changed my plans to suit her, so did all of my children and their friends. My mom changed her plans at the last minute (as usual). She was not coming down Wed afternoon, in fact she didn't end up showing up until Thursday NIGHT. Had that been the original plan my husband could have run her down and none of us would have been put out.

This morning at 2:00 a Boxer showed up on my doorstep barking to get in. He's very friendly and really, really wants to come in. My Rott and Boston are not enjoying this at all. My Granddaughter is terrified of big dogs, even my own that she's known since birth. My mother keeps going outside to smoke. Yep, I know, no smoking around the baby. BUT, she's going out every 15 minutes or so. The Boxer tries to get in, my dogs try to get out, there's a lot of barking, my Granddaughter is crying, and they've just woken the baby! I say: Mom, go upstairs and smoke in the back bedroom. All of the windows are open and they have fans pointing outside (I was prepared for her). Mom: No, I don't want to. Me: But the dogs no sooner settle down and you're opening the door again. Mom: Can't you make them go lay down? Me: NO there is a strange dog attempting to get into the house. You keep letting him get his head in the door, they're not just going to lay there and ignore him!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr Honest to God I don't think she realizes that there are other people on this planet. The baby just had his shots and it's make him feel sickly and fussy. I'm tired, I haven't had much sleep. Everytime the baby goes down, you open the door and get the whole house going.

Sorry your Mom is being so difficult. I understand as my Dad was a lot like that. He just ignored anybody else's plans or feellings. It always left me upset when he would do this. I sympathize with you. There are some people you just can't reason with, they have their own agenda and that is all that matters to them. Hope you can get some rest when she leaves.

HI AAAAA, Shows what a good Mom, Grandma and Daughter you are. I think it is strange that we (including myself) try to please our parents even though they are inconsiderate! I think I would start doing things that are convenient for you and let your mom find her own help from some where else with transportation!

Thanks. It's all very frustrating. My mother cut her visit short because she was angry. She knew that we had a grad party to attend for a nephew on hubby's side of the family. We had to bring the baby as much of his family was waiting to meet him, and the rest "needed their baby fix." It's quite a drive and we were only going to stay for an hour. But since we were taking the baby she "might just as well go home." She cut her visit by 2 1/2 days since we were going to be gone 5 hours!

Now she's home having a pity party. Truth be told I feel guilty. Not because of her guilt trip, my focus is on my grandson and if she can't be bothered to make plans and stick to them its on her. (Although, her guilt trips still work on my children ) I feel guilty because I was happy to see her go. I feel like a horrible person. Who does that?

It did open a discussion with my own children. If I turn into that person TELL ME! My parents were always very loving with my own children. But when I think about it, it was always my responsibility to pack all four of my kids up and travel the four hours to see them. When I started working on the weekends my mom started complaining because I didn't bring them up as often. I pointed out that she's off every weekend and holiday. We are not, it's much easier for one adult to jump in the car and make the trip than it is for an adult and four children.

As a side note, one of the reasons that she was so annoyed was because she expected my daughter to take her to the city to go shopping. Who was supposed to watch the baby? We were working, he wasn't feeling well. I tried to reason with her and point out that in two weeks the baby would be baptized. She had all day Saturday to do her shopping. She didn't want to wait the two weeks. She wants to buy a chair. They are not going to deliver 6 hours away, she apparently expects my husband to deliver it to her. How? Why didn't she do that 6 weeks ago when we all took vacation and had the time to do it? Now our schedule is planned down to the minute. My daughter has returned to work and school. It is a complicated dance to get all of the childcare covered. Trying to find a solution, I suggested that she leave her car here and drive our truck home with her chair in it and my cousins can haul it in for her. No, she doesn't want to drive the truck. How about my van, it'll fit in my van, take my van home. No, she doesn't want to do that either.

We have another grandson due the end of September across the country. We are going out there when the baby is born. Further, when we go out there, we are moving another one of our son's out there so the new parents there will have a support system when the baby arrives. So every second of vacation and day off is already planned out for the next year.

The kicker is she that she has a brand new recliner that she just bought 2 months ago. She doesn't like it. She likes the one my daughter has better so we have to figure out a way to get her what she wants. She has a list of honey do jobs for my husband. My husband will have to take the baby up there during his days to watch the baby so he can get her **** done. I swear to you that my mother is more work than the new born!

Any normal person does this. Fact: just because she's your mother does not mean you're obligated to accomodate her, make provision for her when she's terrible and selfish or even like her. Period.

Thing is you do go out of your way for her and she does nothing to be less difficult. you have every right to feel relieved when she leaves and you're justified.