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Simply put, my mother, whom I've mentioned before as someone who tried to force me to pacify her "boyfriend" even if that meant allowing him to sleep in my bed, is now trying to get me to move back in with her. She's been dependent on me her whole life emotionally; my therapist describes it as being a parentified child. I'm going to see her tomorrow, but I just need to let this out now because I've held in just about everything I've been feeling lately. I've been staying with my aunt for about 9 months in Washington, she lives in California, and I've been wanting to settle down in Seattle. Aside from her, I just like it there more for some reason, plus I'm finally making friends whom have a lot in common with me and I'm having a great time with. She has a medical condition which I'm still not sure what it is because we never seem to get around to talking about it before our conversations grow stressful and I can't take it anymore, but she says that it's even worse than when she had pneumonia in both of her lungs, and she could've died from that. She's been told by her roommate that she has to move in 30 days and keeps asking me what she should do. I don't know what to tell her, yet she always does this. She always asks me for answers to questions that I don't have, yet I always try to help anyway. Up to now, I've been doing my best to not let this affect me and focus on my own life, because she's never allowed me to do that, but it's really weighing me down now. She doesn't have good enough credit to get a place of her own apparently, and she insists that she can't make it on her own and she needs me to help with her credit approval. She keeps saying she can help me, but I've already been doing everything I can for myself, like applying to college. It sounds like the only one helping would be me, since I'd be sharing my income with her again. The last time that happened, she took just about everything and got mad when I kept just a little bit for myself. And now that I need her help with the information for my FAFSA, she keeps acting clueless, like she doesn't know how to Google things she doesn't understand as far as the loan application and such goes. She said she would call me back yesterday once she had looked up things, she always guilt trips ME when I don't call HER back the same day I said I would, and yet she hasn't. My due date to get my FAFSA and the loan application finished is today, and I feel sick to my stomach. All I want to do is have a chance at happiness, to have my independence. Going to school would help me with my purpose, a job...everything. And yet I feel like it's not going to happen. I don't know what I'll do if this fails again; I've been wanting to go to college ever since I was able to and now I'm 21 and three years behind. Even in all of this, I feel guilty that I can't mentally afford to help her, and I've been considering it anyway despite the fervent advice of all of my friends, involved family, and therapists. I don't want her to suffer, I don't want her to be alone. She seems so depressed without someone to help her and keep her company, and she clearly doesn't know how to make friends. I don't know if it's her or other people, I really don't. She keeps thinking that everyone has it out for her, like there's some conspiracy against her, and I'm afraid that I seem to start wondering if she's right. I don't know what to believe anymore; I don't know what to do. This is truly driving me insane.
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May 26, 2014, 10:51 AM
For your well being you need to take hannabee's advice and leave the situation. It hurts to hear, she's been dependent on you for so long she's taking advantage of your good heart. 
Leave, as in not necessarily leave leave but more like keeping a distance. A healthy distance. I'm not saying cut her off because you already know she's sick. 
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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