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#1
May 25, 2014, 08:52 AM
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....OK, not sure if this tread has been started before.
I have never had a good experience with online dating. I have done this on and off for about 5 yrs..... And they say the bar scene is sleezy - looking back at it ...not so much  lol.Tell me something good.
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#2
May 25, 2014, 09:04 AM
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I was doing online dating for a bit. I talked to many people, most of them just creepers, and I only met 2. One seemed like he was just trying to get some, and the one I met shortly after is now my boyfriend of about 2.5 years now.
If you mean, strictly online, like an online relationship. I have had those before, years and years ago when I was young, teenage years. Those never turned to anything promising. I was just a kid. |
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#3
May 25, 2014, 09:15 AM
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Quote:
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#4
May 25, 2014, 06:42 PM
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The most positive thing that's happened to me online is that I almost went on a date twice. Which is almost as good as my offline experiences. At least with online, you can block the perverts and not hear from them again.
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 brainhi, minima
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#5
May 25, 2014, 07:04 PM
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I was curious if anyone else had luck with online dating??? Any suggestions for someone who is looking? I have tried one site so far and I have meet a few friends but, nothing promising.
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#6
May 26, 2014, 12:13 AM
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I have much better luck with in-person meetings. I live near NYC, so there are plenty of things to do and bars to go. If I put myself together and act nice, I can get a date.
I tried online dating... didn't like it at all, didn't want to write stuff about myself, didn't want to post my pictures, took my profile down in a week. Ended up going out with one guy, there was no chemistry. He was very nice though, it was a nice date. |
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#7
May 26, 2014, 01:31 AM
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I was on an online site years ago and actually met a man who I ended up marrying. We did divorce eventually...but remained friends (I took a set of pics of him for going back on the site and he met and married his now wife who is a lovely woman and gave him 2 sons)....I've also had unpleasant experiences with sites but mostly because I didn't listen to myself.
If it feels wrong, or 'weird'....just don't. If you meet a guy from the site, take care of yourself: make sure someone knows where you've gone etc. Don't make the first 'meet up' at night. Make it in a busy place...like coffee at dunkin donuts or starbucks. Have his phone number.....give it to a friend/family member. I mean basically do all the things a smart woman/man would do when meeting someone in person for the first time. There ARE men (AND WOMEN) who are just looking for a 'hook-up'. You can weed them out simply because both have the attention span of a gnat. If you don't meet them right away, they WILL lose interest. It's the ones who are willing to talk, to take it slowly...for as long as it takes for YOU to feel comfortable, that can be keepers. With them, at the very least, you'll meet someone who may become a great friend. Like my ex ended up being. Just take care or yourself.  btw....sometimes you meet people right under your nose and don't realize what an amazing person they are until you start to talk to them. That happened with me....on THIS site................. hehehehe
__________________
 Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
| ThisWayOut, trying2survive
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#8
May 26, 2014, 02:08 AM
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I find that most females will not talk to me on online dating, and they block you without notice, which I find rude.
However, i did manage to have a relationship with one female and she was quite good. She said she really liked me, although I did not have feelings for her it was good to be liked. I slept over at her house and had sex with her consistently. Last edited by Anonymous33211; May 26, 2014 at 02:22 AM. |
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#9
May 26, 2014, 04:44 PM
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Hmmmmmm  ...very cool. I like to hear the positive things. Online dating may or may not be for me but I also am watching my stepsister going through it -and I can see it take a toll on her self esteem.
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#10
May 26, 2014, 05:15 PM
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I think it can work for some people, I could imagine how it appeals to people, but the old fashioned romance of meeting for a few dates face to face before making love is the best.
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#11
May 27, 2014, 01:43 AM
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I've been on a few dating sites in the past. Nothing positive on the dating, or romance, front became of it. I was on Plenty of Fish for a few years—I'd have to say the most positive thing about my experience there was interacting with other members on the forums and learning all the bad crap about the online dating culture and people. I did meet a few nice people... on the boards, too. Mostly I came away shocked at how mean and reckless some human beings treat others. Scary and enlightening.
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#12
May 27, 2014, 10:03 AM
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First, you should know I'm an extremely shy 24 y/o male, and I was hospitalized for being suicidal before I tried online dating. I've been depressed most of my life, but all I ever wanted was to have an intimate relationship with someone. I have never been in a relationship before at 24 years old. I was on about half-a-dozen or more dating sites for more than a year before meeting someone. I was very active on the sites, emailing hundreds of women (I'm not stretching this by any means). Tried going to events, speed dating, etc, etc. With all that said, in person I have met 3 women. 2 of them flaked out on me. I got about 0.10 of a first date with the first one, and 2 dates with the 2nd one. But the third one was a world of difference. If she isn't the woman for me I don't know who would be. I want to marry her.
My advice would be to not go on so many dating sites, but go on the paid ones. The free ones are just filled with scams. Be the real you. Don't lie about who you are. The person who is meant to be with you will love you for who you really are. |
| ThisWayOut, waiting4
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#13
May 27, 2014, 04:17 PM
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Quote:
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#14
May 27, 2014, 05:46 PM
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I've tried online dating, on multiple sites, for several years now. I never met anyone that I was interested in pursuing a relationship with, unfortunately.
One woman was creepy, told me she loved me before we even met, called me constantly. Another woman had never read Harry Potter (yes, that's a deal breaker) and had failed several classes. And just recently, I went on a few dates with a man (I'm bi) who was very sweet and smarter than my other dates, but spoke in a monotone voice. Unfortunately, I couldn't get over that (it's also complicated by the fact that I have feelings for a different male friend) so I told him the last time I saw him that I just wanted to be friends. I did meet one woman online who ended up being a decent friend. She is kind and intelligent, and has schizophrenia, so she understands mental health issues. If she hadn't moved away, I probably would have pursued a relationship with her. I've tried several, and I think OKCupid is the best dating site I've tried. People just seem more interesting and quirky on that site.
__________________
I dwell in possibility-Emily Dickinson Check out my blog on equality for those with mental health issues (updated 12/4/15) http://phoenixesrisingtogether.blogspot.com 
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#15
May 27, 2014, 08:13 PM
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I tried okcupid once. I'm socially anxious so it's very hard for me to make friends or get in relationships. I'm also afraid of rejection but I decided to try that online dating site anyways. I found this guy who I had a lot of things in common with and he was cute and he started talking to me but I got very overwhelmed with all the other creepy guys messaging me so I deleted. I didn't put any effort with the cute guy either because I was afraid he would reject me. Maybe I'll try it again when I sort things out with myself.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#16
May 27, 2014, 11:49 PM
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okcupid has a bad rep for being a meatmarket but I suppose all of them, if misused can be. eHarmony is a good one (it's paid) and some swear by match.com but even tho it's paid, I heard from friends it does have it's share of scammers.
I guess it just comes down to, being careful, not giving out too much information...and going slow.
__________________
Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
| brainhi
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#17
May 28, 2014, 12:35 AM
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 So, I have been online dating since it was in the personal ads! lol Guys I met when I was younger were actually nice guys that I had already seen out and about in the city, but at the time, I had the attention span of a gnat. When I got older, I tried AOL online and met amazing guy who I am still friends with - we could not agree on parenting so we didn't last more than a few years. Then met another guy a few years later on eHarmony. He was too clingy. I recently tried eHarmony again and the match was no chemistry. I plan to try Match.com next. I have not had luck meeting guys out since I am always too depressed to go anywhere and I've gained 1,000 pounds from the antidepressants. I don't exactly have my same 130 pound body. More like 220! I attract an entirely different type of male now and do not like it...I enjoy online dating only because I know I am not putting forth any effort when I leave the house. I go to work and come home. 
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#18
May 28, 2014, 06:07 AM
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Quote:
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#19
May 28, 2014, 06:09 AM
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Quote:
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#20
May 28, 2014, 07:30 AM
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I ended up having a really great experience with online dating. My ex wife got me a subscription to match.Com as kind of a breakup gift (messed up, I know). I ended up meeting a few women, and ultimately my wife. I found going into it without expectations of anything long term made it easier for me to just get out and try to meet people. I'm sure I was one of the freaks some of the women talk about (freshly divorced, relatively depressed, crazy animal lady) but I was really just looking for social interaction and some "fun"at the time. My wife was one of the first women to contact me. I was emailing about a dozen people at the time, so I got mixed up and responded to the wrong email. It was the best "mistake" of my life. We took it slow, both still dating other people for about 6 months. We also did not meet in person for a few weeks after we started talking. We got to know each other, then ramped up op the typical lesbian stereotype of "bringing a u-haul to the second date." Pretty much the day we decided to go exclusive was also the day we decided to move in together.
It was a fun experience overall though. I'm pretty socially awkward. I'm better at writing things than saying them, so initial introductions through writing are very helpful for me. I think, as everyone has said, if you are careful to wed out the creeps (but not necessarily the weird ones), you can find some really great people online. Just be safe about any meetings, and maybe keep your home address private for a while. |
| brainhi
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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