[capricornacopia]

I know it seems basic but real talk, when do I clue someone into the fact that I am not the healthy college student? I was previously in a two year unhealthy relationship and the fact that I was not doing so well mentally really drove us apart, the more i needed his support, the more he pulled away or shamed me into feeling bad about being myself with language like "you used to..." saying that the way I was acting, my true self, was different and bad. But really I was just so tired of putting up a front and I thought that maybe, i could finally let loose around my boyfriend who I loved. I was so wrong.

I have my first crush since getting out of this relationship and I want to avoid that situation, I'm not sure if we will end up dating but i want to be honest with him and myself and i was wondering if anyone had any advice on when to bring up the big B (Bipolar) up in conversation.

[SnakeCharmer]

There's always a risk of rejection involved whenever we reveal problems or difficulties. In my experience, there have been far better outcomes when I get past the first stage of politeness and onto showing the real me and getting to know the other person in the same way as soon as possible. So I'd say the time to bring it up is sooner rather than later, but not necessarily the very first time you hang out. Maybe the second or third time though, if you feel like there's the possibility the relationship might turn into something special.

Honestly, it's best to bring it up as soon as it's appropriate. Like when that whole "sharing past experiences or inner details" stage comes into play. That helps provide a more realistic basis where you can both draw from. You don't feel like you have an unreasonable standard for your feelings/behaviour & he doesn't feel gypped out of a complete relationship with you [IE he only gets to know part of you, but not the whole picture]. If he can't handle it... Then he's not right for you. And at least you'll know before a point that it causes you serious pain.

[PennsyR]

Best of luck to you in this endeavour. I tried to clue my guy into my diagnoses and he brushed them all off and criticized me for falling for all that "psychobabble." It's a constant struggle.

Stay strong.