[DownfallOfUsAll]

So I met this guy online on a dating site 2 months ago and from the first time we met we got on so so well. I'vw been really shy all my life and for years I've had nobody I could really talk to and have a converation with. By the end of our first... well it wasn't a date we just hung out all day.. but I was able to talk to him more then I'd spoken to anyone else in years. I was amazed. It was a huge huge thing for me. I was just so comfortable with him and he made me laugh so much.

So every week after that we met up and done things together and then after a month of dating he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy. He is so great.. and I can talk to him! Well a bit.. still got a while until I'm 100% comfortable talking to him. He makes me laugh so much and I just can forget about my troubles with him. We have soo much in common and our personalities are really similar! We've being official going out for a month now.. although we're long distance. We live about 2 hours apart by train. Which isn't too bad.. we try and see each other once a week although a couple of times it's being 2 weeks I've had to wait to see him.

Anyway the problem is that although he is so great and I've been so happy I've been having doubts about us as well and I'm not sure why. I've always been afraid of relationships and so scared to get into one so I dont know if it's just my insecurities and my fear trying to make me push him away already. Also another thing is that although our personailites being the same is great it's also very bad because like me he is very insecure and has no confidence at all. He also is quite prone to mood swings and is a bit sensitve. My only concern is that I dont know how the relationship can work when we're both so unhappy I guess. I keep thinking that it just won't work.

I like him so much and whenever we have been together we have been happy and laughing most of the time. It's just more when we talk online we end up having a lot of conversations about how down we're both feeling.

My questions are that can two really insecure unhappy people really work together in a relationship? And how do I get rid of these doubts? We haven't been together very long and I feel like I haven't given us a chance.. espcially as we haven't spent a lot of days together face to face due to distance. I'm so scared of pushing him away and hurting him when I don't want to.

[Jess113]

Hi, I think that maybe you both could have some individual counseling on your own time and use what each of you learn to try to help each other. Try to help lift each other up.
Since you're insecure about relationships, it's only normal that you're going to be worried about this not lasting. But if you both make an effort, you should be fine and you can learn to be truly happy together...which is a great thing.
Hope this helps (at least a little)
Much love..

[DownfallOfUsAll]

Originally Posted by Jess113

Hi, I think that maybe you both could have some individual counseling on your own time and use what each of you learn to try to help each other. Try to help lift each other up.
Since you're insecure about relationships, it's only normal that you're going to be worried about this not lasting. But if you both make an effort, you should be fine and you can learn to be truly happy together...which is a great thing.
Hope this helps (at least a little)
Much love..

Thanks for your advice
Yes I have always wanted counseling I know I need some help I'm just so afraid to get it I guess. I don't know how to talk to him about this though either.. I'm not sure what to say at all.

[A Red Panda]

I get the urge to bolt too... and doubts. It's hard to accept that someone might actually genuinely care to be around me and like who I am. It's really hard to move beyond that, because it just seems like things are fake (I'm having those anxieties myself right now!)

Since you're both insecure, you can work together and hopefully be understanding of one another's insecurities - let each other know what you need from the other to help alleviate it.