[Voss]

I've been curious about a friend's behavior lately, which involves making "jokes" about hating me, us not being friends, etc. I'm no stranger to insult humor or facetiousness in my friendships, but with this guy it comes out of nowhere and is getting pretty off-putting. I'm not a very touchy-feely person, but I do have feelings.

I initially chalked it up to him being a little off socially because he has severe anxiety issues and doesn't really go out, but after confronting him about it I found that he doesn't even know why he does it. Apparently, he does it to others, too, who have pretty much the same reaction.

At this point I don't want to talk to him and put up with it, but am hesitating to end the friendship because I don't fully understand what's going on.

[Piraeus]

Hi Voss. It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry for what you are going through with your friend. It's just my opinion, but I really think you should end it. I had a friend once that was cool and everything, but then turned around and started bullying me. I had to cut ties. I hope you can find some peace with whatever decision you make.

Piraeus

[waiting4]

I don't know that you should ditch the friendship but honestly, unless you can provide a 'for instance'...I'm confused about the kind of jokes he's making???

[PianogirlPlays]

Sounds hard to me. Words are powerful and can really affect you. We need all the encouragement we can get. Sounds like he may have a problem .

Sounds like he knows he does this but is unaware as to what causes him to do so. I wouldn't take it personally at this point since he does it all around and I wouldn't think that it's particularly about you but his aversion to close socializing. It seems to me that he's probably got issues with it and it's his reaction to someone getting too close or him feeling smothered or something similar. Finding out the trigers are up to him but my suggestion is to take a break when he is getting on your nerves, might do you good and also might make him settle down a bit too.

You should tell him how it makes you feel when he makes those type of jokes. Tell him if he keeps it up then you will no longer be able to hang around him. You don't deserve that kind of treatment from anyone

[Zulu13]

It seems to me that he has a great fear of letting people in, and getting emotionally close to others. If I were to guess, I would wager that your friend is probably scared of being abandoned, and possibly lashing out at people to lessen his dread of such an event. I would suggest you talk to him as openly as you can about the issue. Do it in a non-confrontational manner, avoiding any accusations of his antisocial behavior. Instead, directly address the insulting way he treats you, how it makes you feel. It wouldn't be a good idea to bookend these suggestions with a threat that you will sever contact if he doesn't, as that will likely trigger a panic response which could be ugly. If, after you've tried to ask him to face his issues, he is clearly making no attempt to try to struggle with his behavior, then ending things might be your only option.