I'm struggling with finding out how I treat a friend who is always taking care of others, always putting other first, crossing her own borders. It always feels so weird to offer her help or even to just 'give' to her. Whatever that is. Probably because she isn't used to receive things... It's just weird.

Someone knows this feeling? Experienced this?

[bluekoi]

Forwardinreverse, The best thing you can do is be her friend. Remind her that she needs to take care of herself. Do something fun together!

[hvert]

Yes, I have had similar experiences. It can be really difficult to interact with people like that, especially if they insist that they do not want you to do X for them or if they try to return your $10 favor with a $100 favor.

I have found that there is usually something behind this martyr like behavior, a desire to be liked, a desire to control/be in control, or to be pitied.

This may be the wrong approach, but for me, I now try to not take notice of all the self-sacrificing. I also refuse favors from friends who have these tendencies. I have found that pushing favors onto them often does not really work because *they* want to be the one self-sacrificing. Maybe start with something small and see how your friend takes it?