[ace333]

Let me start off by saying I'm not the one getting married and I'm not included in the wedding party. But everytime I go to others wedding I feel very anxious. I also get feeling of jealousy even though I know I shouldn't and I really feel sad I'm not the one getting married. I have a bf and we have been together six years. I'm not in a rush per say to get married but his attitude about marriage in general really pisses me off and reply makes me sad to even go to others weddings. His opinion of them is " their a stupid waste of time and money...and everyone will get divorced anyways so its pointless" he constantly puts them down when we r alone but when we are at then he has a great time and talks about things he wants at his wedding but makes no mention of it being our wedding. So now I feel sad and depressed at every wedding I go to. I want to have fun , be in a good mood, and just be able to feel good about myself and the people around me getting married. I don't wanna feel jealous or sad.I feel like I'm wasting my time with my bf. I'm not in a rush to just have a wedding. But it'd be nice to know what he wants from our relationship being its been six years. And I want him to stop all the negative wedding talk around me . I don't get it

[manxcatwoman]

I agree. You should want to know about your future with him or anyone for that matter. Six yrs. is long enough for him to give you some feedback about the two of you getting married. It's understandable that you've feel anxious about going to weddings.
He sure has a negative attitude about wedding and evidently marriage.

I hope things get better soon.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by ace333

Let me start off by saying I'm not the one getting married and I'm not included in the wedding party. But everytime I go to others wedding I feel very anxious. I also get feeling of jealousy even though I know I shouldn't and I really feel sad I'm not the one getting married. I have a bf and we have been together six years. I'm not in a rush per say to get married but his attitude about marriage in general really pisses me off and reply makes me sad to even go to others weddings. His opinion of them is " their a stupid waste of time and money...and everyone will get divorced anyways so its pointless" he constantly puts them down when we r alone but when we are at then he has a great time and talks about things he wants at his wedding but makes no mention of it being our wedding. So now I feel sad and depressed at every wedding I go to. I want to have fun , be in a good mood, and just be able to feel good about myself and the people around me getting married. I don't wanna feel jealous or sad.I feel like I'm wasting my time with my bf. I'm not in a rush to just have a wedding. But it'd be nice to know what he wants from our relationship being its been six years. And I want him to stop all the negative wedding talk around me . I don't get it

First....ask him. Seriously. You've been together 6 years, so you have a right to know what's going on or what's not going on. But be prepared in case it isn't the answer you want.

Second....tell him to knock off the negative talk with you about marriage, or knock off the hypocritial crap he's spouting at weddings the two of you go to, or the next one you're both invited to, you'll either stay home, go alone, or go with him but stay as far away from him during the entire ceremony and reception as is humanly possible, and he can either explain why to questioning guests....or you will. The reason is simple: he's talking a talk he can't walk and he doesn't mean a word of it (to the guests asking).

I'm sorry your feeling hurt, frustrated and probably...given the number of weddings you've obviously been to with him, somewhat disillusioned and I don't blame you. Tell him it's time to man-up....either he gets off the pot, or keeps his negative opinions to himself---and the positive lies to himself as well.

Take care

[hvert]

Hi, I'm another person in a six year relationship wondering what he thinks our future will be -- and even what I think it will be. My boyfriend also says very negative things about marriage. I'm not really bothered by it too much as I am not sure if I want to be married, but not knowing can be stressful.

I hope you can have the conversation and get the response you want. My guy won't have those kinds of conversations with me. It turns into a joke or he just says that he doesn't know.

[ace333]

Originally Posted by hvert

Hi, I'm another person in a six year relationship wondering what he thinks our future will be -- and even what I think it will be. My boyfriend also says very negative things about marriage. I'm not really bothered by it too much as I am not sure if I want to be married, but not knowing can be stressful.

I hope you can have the conversation and get the response you want. My guy won't have those kinds of conversations with me. It turns into a joke or he just says that he doesn't know.

we don't have these conversations, instead of turning into a joke it turns into a fight, on my end im always calm and don't really care what the answer is as long as its an answer, its him who always gets angry and causes the fight, saying im pressuring him, when really im just asking because 1) people non stop ask me, 2) i'd really like to know if im wsting my time or not, im not rushing to get married, 3) it irritating that we can't even talk about it just as it is, not necessarily about us.

i told him the other day in the midst of such a fight that i guess were never going to live together ( we still don't live together, whihc extremely pisses me off) and never going to get married and at this point our whole relationship is a huge joke, and i don't even care about being with him or getting married at this point because its just one big giant joke on me.....he shut up real quick and went to a**kissing mode fairly fast, and even days after im still pissed about it