[ace333]

im very irriatated right now now and dont know where to turn or how to make it better. i have and issue with him and i don't know how to deal with it.

it seems like everytime we have fight it could be major or little crap that turns into a major fight. each time he gets angry at something wether its me or not starting the fight he says the meanest things possible to me. take for example yesterday....i work from home and he came over and didn't talk to me all day, i could have cared less because i was working when i got off of work i went into the room he was in, and simply asked what he would like to do thtoday and or this weekend, we have tons of options for things, he flips off the handle and starts yelling he doesn't know and why can't we do serate things ( i countered with for one its anniversay i don't care what we as long and its planned out and were together, he has the worst problem organing anything and being perpared for anything in this case it would be camping with friends when we have no tent no sleeping bags and nothing ready) then he jumps my ***** about how he doesn't want to kiss me we see each other all the time he wants to be left alone doesn't want to do anything is sick of me thinks im stupid doesn't care about me how all i do is complain and nag and that he's not doing anything this weekend, and leaves yelling at me and telling me how s****y of a person i am and how much he hates me in every way possible.

not even five mins later tries to text me and say hes sorry and the outburst was more or less caused because he hadn't had a cigarette in a few hours. this kind of b.s has been happening for years, i don't understand his crazyness, he'll get angry say he doesn't want to talk to me or see me because im needy and clingy, but then turn around and be the one trying to talk to me and see me all the time....it makes no sense how am i clingy and needy if he's the up my ***** talking to me and wanting me around him all the time...i tell him don't come over if you don't want and don't talk to me...buts its all me whose clingy and needy because when we don't fight i actually like the time we spend together and want more ....anyways.... i said i do not want your fake sorry and you make me question why i even want to be with you...he shut up real fast....but heres the real problem im facing whenever these fights happen like i said within minutes of leaving or what have you he'll pretend to be sorry and act like everything is fine and nothing just happened.....i can't do this im so mad and hurt everytime i could kill him, i litterally want to psyically beat him senseless and the fact he tries to pretend everything is fine makes it worse. i end up being angry for days at him and he just pretends everything is fine and wonders why i am still mad or whats wrong when its over......um hello do you hear what you say to me and how you make me feel...he does nothing to truly show hes sorry no hugging me no trying to do nice things to really show hes sorry, just the fakest, uncaring unsorry you can think of. because he isn't sorry he just says it cuz he thinks its what i want to hear and its going to make me forget anything was said or happened ( he thinks if he ignores all his problems they magically go away...this is coming from a 30 yr old man). so today i am still extremely mad at him, i don't want to talk to him or even see him and i know how its going to be, hell call or come over acting like everything is fine, and see im still mad and accuse me of always being a b***h and always mad and who cares the fights over and it will start another fight.

im still mad and upset of the things he said why can't he get that, then i feel crazy because i cant just let it go in my head when he says these things i think " well why are you with me, you clearly don't love so why are you even around, but then whe i question why hes with me or if he really loves me and wants to be with me he gets mad and starts another fight that goes nowhere, and he can't fatjom why i would ever think he doesn't love me....he's f****g nuts. wtf is wrong with me and more impotantly wtf is wrong with him and why can't he see how much he hurts me and pisses me off and refuses to do anything to make it better, and just expects everything to be fine and not a big deal

[glok]

Hello, ace333. I don't know. This does not sound good.

[Perna]

Ace, next time he starts in, stop him in mid-rant, right away? Give him some of your anger (voice) and tell him you do not want to hear this and if he is not going to calm down and talk rationally, leave now.

[avlady]

I feel bad for you, maybe its time to leave him,or give an ultimatium if he doesnt stop treating you so bad

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by ace333

im very irriatated right now now and dont know where to turn or how to make it better. i have and issue with him and i don't know how to deal with it.

it seems like everytime we have fight it could be major or little crap that turns into a major fight. each time he gets angry at something wether its me or not starting the fight he says the meanest things possible to me. take for example yesterday....i work from home and he came over and didn't talk to me all day, i could have cared less because i was working when i got off of work i went into the room he was in, and simply asked what he would like to do thtoday and or this weekend, we have tons of options for things, he flips off the handle and starts yelling he doesn't know and why can't we do serate things ( i countered with for one its anniversay i don't care what we as long and its planned out and were together, he has the worst problem organing anything and being perpared for anything in this case it would be camping with friends when we have no tent no sleeping bags and nothing ready) then he jumps my ***** about how he doesn't want to kiss me we see each other all the time he wants to be left alone doesn't want to do anything is sick of me thinks im stupid doesn't care about me how all i do is complain and nag and that he's not doing anything this weekend, and leaves yelling at me and telling me how s****y of a person i am and how much he hates me in every way possible.

not even five mins later tries to text me and say hes sorry and the outburst was more or less caused because he hadn't had a cigarette in a few hours. this kind of b.s has been happening for years, i don't understand his crazyness, he'll get angry say he doesn't want to talk to me or see me because im needy and clingy, but then turn around and be the one trying to talk to me and see me all the time....it makes no sense how am i clingy and needy if he's the up my ***** talking to me and wanting me around him all the time...i tell him don't come over if you don't want and don't talk to me...buts its all me whose clingy and needy because when we don't fight i actually like the time we spend together and want more ....anyways.... i said i do not want your fake sorry and you make me question why i even want to be with you...he shut up real fast....but heres the real problem im facing whenever these fights happen like i said within minutes of leaving or what have you he'll pretend to be sorry and act like everything is fine and nothing just happened.....i can't do this im so mad and hurt everytime i could kill him, i litterally want to psyically beat him senseless and the fact he tries to pretend everything is fine makes it worse. i end up being angry for days at him and he just pretends everything is fine and wonders why i am still mad or whats wrong when its over......um hello do you hear what you say to me and how you make me feel...he does nothing to truly show hes sorry no hugging me no trying to do nice things to really show hes sorry, just the fakest, uncaring unsorry you can think of. because he isn't sorry he just says it cuz he thinks its what i want to hear and its going to make me forget anything was said or happened ( he thinks if he ignores all his problems they magically go away...this is coming from a 30 yr old man). so today i am still extremely mad at him, i don't want to talk to him or even see him and i know how its going to be, hell call or come over acting like everything is fine, and see im still mad and accuse me of always being a b***h and always mad and who cares the fights over and it will start another fight.

im still mad and upset of the things he said why can't he get that, then i feel crazy because i cant just let it go in my head when he says these things i think " well why are you with me, you clearly don't love so why are you even around, but then whe i question why hes with me or if he really loves me and wants to be with me he gets mad and starts another fight that goes nowhere, and he can't fatjom why i would ever think he doesn't love me....he's f****g nuts. wtf is wrong with me and more impotantly wtf is wrong with him and why can't he see how much he hurts me and pisses me off and refuses to do anything to make it better, and just expects everything to be fine and not a big deal

ace, you are being emotionally abused..he is not going to change, the longer you stay the worse it will get. i would end this relationship now.

[waiting4]

I have to agree with t2s....He's been kind of beastly for sometime now. And it is starting to look like adjusting his behaviour is just not gonna happen.

You may need to seriously consider ending this relationship before he hurts you further. And I'm so sorry you have to go thru this; you deserve better. (hugs)