[Shimmyshams]

So I'm having some trouble with my mother and I'm not sure who's in the wrong here.

I'm a 16 year old girl and my mom has recently told me we needed to move. I'm totally okay with that, and I know us having to move isn't her fault. I'm fine with the fact that we have to move into a much smaller place, too. But after this decision had been pretty much made and discussed, my mom decided that she wanted her boyfriend to move in with us at a new place. He recently lost his house due to getting screwed over in a leasing agreement and my mom is convinced that us wanting to move and him needing to is some kind of "sign," which is annoying in itself.

Anyway, I told her I wasn't ready for that. I've met him once for about 3 minutes and she's only known him for 6 months. My abusive brother recently moved out and I was just starting to feel comfortable in our house so of course I felt adverse to is moving in with a stranger. She told me she understood and that we would continue looking for an apartment. But now all of a sudden she's decided "she needs to start being a parent and making her own decisions." She's moved her boyfriend into our house and apparently we'll be renting a house with him when one becomes available.

I'm pissed about this. She gave me a bunch of false hope only to throw me into an environment in which I am VERY uncomfortable. Her boyfriend isn't rude or anything, but the whole situation feels awkward and wrong and I'm becoming more hateful towards him as time goes on. I plan to talk with my mom again tomorrow about how uncomfortable I am living with him and how I'm not ready to live with a stranger. She's telling me not to be selfish and that it's not my choice but I think I should have some say in who I live with.

I've never gotten in the way of them dating and I didn't complain when she left on a 4 day vacation with him and told me to just take care of myself. I have no problem with them dating but him moving in is too much too fast. Please help me out with this. I don't know what else I can say to get her to understand.

[glok]

Welcome to the Community, Shimmyshams. Since your mother likely will not agree with you, your options are limited. You can try to make the best of it and maybe even have a good relationship with the boyfriend. You can accept your circumstances and be as pleasant as you can. You can let your feelings about your circumstances fester and grow and be miserable.

You must choose.

[hvert]

I am so sorry. I'm on your side - I don't think your mother should be letting some guy you've barely met move in, especially when the motivation for him moving in is desperation rather than a natural progression of their romance.

Nothing you say is going to change her mind about this. You might try talking to some of her friends or a relative she trusts --- someone who could point out how dumb it is to let a man you don't know that well move in with you and your 16 year old daughter.

Unfortunately, until we are 18, most of us have to suffer through our parents bad choices and decisions we don't like. You only have a few more years, right?