[Fleury29]

I've tried various things over the years to fit in with any of the various groups of people I've had to socialize and nothing really works. Some places I've read the best way to make friends and what not is to find out what the people your are socializing with like to do etc. my problem is that 9 tenths of the the new people I meet know people I've known for years and inevitably I get things repeated back to me what I've said, weeks, months or years ago, even though I've never met this person before. It's frustrating trying to find someone who haven't already apparently had some sort of discussion with people who know, and apparently don't like me, before I've even had a chance to try to do anything. I guess my other question is what is going on here? Should I just accept the fact that anyone new at work or that my family knows is just going to repeat what I say back to me and never really attempt to have a conversation?

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[Mike_J]

I have a huge issue with social anxiety and making friends has always been difficult for me.

The one thing that has worked for me was a peer to peer support group. Both DBSA and NAMI have support groups around the country, for those with mental illness, it was a good place to just feel like I wasn't being judged, and where I "fit in" I have made some friends there and then made some more friends by becoming involved activities with the friends I made at support groups.

You could find an interesting activity. It could be a hobby. It could be a part-time small business. It must be something YOU find really interesting, and which plenty of other people find really interesting and spend a lot of time doing or working. Then go to meetings or activities pertaining to that. At the meetings, you and the others don't mainly talk about yourselves (which is pretty boring), but about the thing you are all interested in. It could be:

-The Civil War
-Off road bicycling
-Republican Party activism
-Democrat Party activism
-Green Party activism
-Vegan eating
-Running marathons
-Martial arts
-Science fiction
-Fiction writing
-Local theater acting
-Playwriting
-Beekeeping
-Dogs
-Hamsters
-Gardening
-Whatever!

The main idea is to not talk much about yourself at all, but to talk about the fascinating things/subject/activity that you and a bunch of other people find fascinating!