[Ecara_kawaii]

My partner asked me to marry me five months into our relationship, and was very full on with me, wanting us to move in together quickly. I didn't want to get married so quickly but changed my mind during Christmas time. He was happy at this point, although a few months later he seemed very distant with me and not his normal self. He broke up with me after an argument and said he didn't love me anymore, although when I pleaded with him to see we were good together he stayed for another few months, which was a stupid thing to do, I know. During this time, he seemed perfectly normal, although he did seem like he wasn't as attentive to me anymore. He finished with me again by surprise and I was devastated, so went home for a few days. After ringing him constantly, he then said I'm so glad you rang and asked for me back after me telling him how much I loved him. He begged for me to take him back and said he had made the wrong decision and blamed everything on himself saying he had issues, and that it was a lie when he told me he didn't love me, after numerous texts and calls, he said he still wanted to marry me, have kids, see me thrive with my music and spend the rest of his life with me. He sent me flowers and even spoke to my mum on the phone to convince her to convince me. He blamed his original decision on the fact he was insecure about his low sex drive..... After giving him another chance, a few days later, he had doubts again, I have no idea why. And it was only because I asked him about how new as feeling he told me, I don't feel I did anything wrong during this time. He now won't talk to me, and when visiting him the other day, he was wearing the top I like most, blasting out my favourite band in his garden and acted like nothing had happened. I don't understand him at all, am completely confused, and am unsure of how to move on. I have always been consistent despite any reason he would have for not wanting to be with me... Please help!

[kaliope]

hi ecara
it sounds like he has some mental health issues. staying with him means you will always be on this emotional roller coaster and you will never understand what you have done as he pushes you away and pulls you back again. because it isn't about you. it is all about him being unstable. is this really what you want for your future? welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[hvert]

I'm sorry, I can't guess why he is the way he is. It probably isn't anything you did. It sounds like he has some stuff to work through.

I find that it is easiest to get over some one if I keep my distance for a while-- out of sight, out of mind. It takes time, but it does get better. I'm sorry you're going through this