I think I screwed up. What now?

My heart is bursting in my chest.
I feel like I'm suffocating.
I think I made a big mistake.

My sister told me she has stomach cancer and has 6 months to live. She is only 23.. stomach cancer is really, really rare at her age. She was being shady about it and not providing details. I asked a bunch of questions that she wouldn't answer. And, because she has a history of lying about BIG things, and has lied to me a lot before (e.g., about pregnancy, about a sexual assault which she admitted did not happen), a few days later when there was still no proof, I accused her of lying.

But now she has invited me to her oncology appointment in two weeks. This is with a specialist she could ONLY see if she had a diagnosis. If this appointment actually happens, then it's true. She has it. She's going to die.

She is so livid that I accused her of lying, that she said that she never wants to speak to me again. That I can go to her oncology appointment so that I'll leave her alone, and that as far as she's concerned, I can go die after that.

I love my sister.
I really thought she was lying.
She has lied so much about big things, and I'd been struggling to trust her again.
But I think she might have been telling the truth this time.
I feel so sick.
I guess I could use support. A lot. A lot of it. And if anyone knows if something like this can even be salvaged in six months time.

I think it's understandable that you were sceptical. I would have been in your situation. It doesn't make you a bad person, you're just working on past experience and information.

Maybe you should tell her the reasoning behind your accusation and that you're sorry you jumped to conclusions and want to be there to support her no matter what?

I hope for both of your sakes it's not as bad as she says.

Given her history, I would wait until you have the proof before beating yourself up and wondering how you can make amends. Why does she have to wait two weeks for an appointment if she only has six months to live? Why couldn't she show you proof from her first appointments?

I totally agree.....lying about the things the OP said she has previously lied about are NOT little white lies....they're great big, honking lies.

To the OP: Wait please, before putting your head on the chopping block. IF it turns out to be true, THEN you can do as was suggested, i.e. apologize, explain, offer support. If she remains angry, that is a testiment about HER, not you. I know you love your sister. She sounds like she already had some serious issues going on with her, long before this 'diagnosis'. If it were me, I'd question too....and still would for just the reason Hvert stated.

Good luck!

Hi jexa, I feel for you. I have a sister who was also a chronic liar. Facts from her were always a blur and she wasn't afraid to lie about really big things sometimes. She really should have proof either way to show you, such as forms or even pamphlets they hand out in hospitals. I'd wait two weeks.

Please don't spend the next two weeks beating yourself up and trying to make it up to her. Even though if she DOES have stomach cancer she'd understandably be upset.... she has to see that it makes sense for you to not believe her... she's lied about being pregnant! That's a huge thing to lie about, it makes total sense to not trust someone after things like that.

You'll find out in two weeks. Two weeks seems like a long time when you factor in that there's only 6 months in her time line if it's true.

Please try to not beat yourself up. She has essentially called wolf many times in the past, and when you are skeptical this time, you get the blame? That's not right. I know this is hard to reason through as it is such an emotional time, but is there any way you can reason through your actions? Would that perhaps put your mind at ease so that you aren't beating yourself up and taking the full blame?

Okay, my husband just had a cancer diagnosis, so I KNOW that there would be some proof now, not two weeks from now, NOW! There would be a pathology report, a CT scan or s PET scan SOMETHING.
You had every reason to question her, I think anyway. Don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong. Let's hope she is lying though and then let's hope she will accept help to find the underlying cause of her deceptive ways. Big hug and good luck. Please keep us posted.

i say go to the appointment..before you get all upset..it could be yet another ruse to get attention. you have every right to be skeptical..don't beat yourself up..stay strong!