[thepiper92]

I am have a big issue with my family currently. My father refuses to meet my girlfriend, whom I have been with for a year. He complains she is ugly, fat and a slut, as well as complaining about her career as a health care aide, and her family. She isn't rich, neither am I. He doesn't know her at all yet judges her. He even snoops through my private texts to her, recently finding out about our sexual activities. This brings him to being the big Christian man and says we are both horrible people, though he isn't religious...and to say the least I myself went to my parents' wedding. I have made bad relationship decisions in the past, and my parents were right, but the woman I am with now is a wonderful person and I connect with her very well. She also has pcos, and I accept that she does. I love her for who she is, and I want my family to accept her, after all it has been a year. I am at a loss at what to do. I love her and the only way I would leave her is if we weren't compatible.

[hvert]

Wow, your father sounds like a real piece of work. He sounds like he would be really rude to your girlfriend if he met her, so maybe it is just as well that he doesn't. I would keep telling him that he needs to stop saying such disgusting things about her and that you need your privacy.

Our parents do not always approve of our choices. Sometimes they have a reason, sometimes they don't. It's okay to make your own decisions without your parent's permission once you reach adulthood.

[thepiper92]

I am 22, and I feel that such decisions are my right. I am still unsure as to whether or not he is using her as leverage over me for my schooling. Currently I am taking sociology and history, then planning to go into a trades program with education. MY father seems to be in disapproval over this plan, and wants me to go into engineering, or the like. He also complains that I have not finished the degree in 4 years. If I could move out, I would, but I do not want to risk my schooling. It was just last night, in fact, that I was called a failure to my face.

As per the making my own decisions, I feel they do not want me to do so. I tell them that I am my own person, and can make my own choices, and the response is that I should move out. Why is it not possible to have a family that lets you make life choices while living with them. My choices aren't about them, they are about my future.

I suppose I do have issues respecting them...but I do not feel I should really be respecting them. From this, I have developed anxiety and anger issues. I am aware of this, but my family does not help matters, calling me sociopathic. They make me out to be some sort of monster, when I am just trying to make the decisions I feel are right.

Originally Posted by thepiper92

I am have a big issue with my family currently. My father refuses to meet my girlfriend, whom I have been with for a year. He complains she is ugly, fat and a slut, as well as complaining about her career as a health care aide, and her family. She isn't rich, neither am I. He doesn't know her at all yet judges her. He even snoops through my private texts to her, recently finding out about our sexual activities. This brings him to being the big Christian man and says we are both horrible people, though he isn't religious...and to say the least I myself went to my parents' wedding. I have made bad relationship decisions in the past, and my parents were right, but the woman I am with now is a wonderful person and I connect with her very well. She also has pcos, and I accept that she does. I love her for who she is, and I want my family to accept her, after all it has been a year. I am at a loss at what to do. I love her and the only way I would leave her is if we weren't compatible.

What is Pcos ? and it sounds like there is " parental clinging " going on here.

[thepiper92]

Pcos is cysts in the ovaries, can cause issues with sterility, and some other things. It's something that I accept.

[blur]

your parents are being really hard on you. if there is any way you can move out i'd do so. keep being your own person and making the decisions that are right for you.

[thepiper92]

I want things to be right with my family though.