[JoeS21]

What do you consider to be an appropriate amount of money (or range of money) to spend on a significant others birthday and Christmas gifts?

Please specify after 1 year together, after 2 years together, after 3 years, etc.

Feel free to include other stuff you think matters like relationship status (gf/bf, fiancee, married), income/class (your own and your SO's), geographic region (NYC versus North Dakota), etc.

[JoeS21]

Me:
Year 1 = up to $100 for Christmas, up to $50 for a birthday

Year 2 = up to $150ish for Christmas, up to $50 for a birthday unless it's a shared gift like a vacation

Value of gift is more important to me than what I actually spend. Price and value don't always equate.

I would be tempted to bump it up if my SO did as well. In general, I think that I try to give thoughtful gifts rather than expensive gifts, but this is a subjective matter.

An engagement, to me, means a ring worth 3 months salary unless the SO has indicated not wanting an expensive ring and something else special (like a vacation or fantastic night out) in addition to birthday and Christmas.

I WANT YOU TO BE VOCAL SO DO NOT HESITATE TO DIFFER, SUGGEST I'M CHEAP, OR THAT I OVERSPEND. You have my permission to do so.

[Odee]

I've only had one BF, started dating him at 18 and am now 22. In the four Christmas birthdays we have been together for I have only given him a Christmas gift once (expansion packs to a board game) and he only gave me a Christmas/Birthday gift once (a nice hoodie). His gift to me was when we first started dating and mine was to him just last year. He have both mutually agreed that we don't want to go through the trouble of exchanging (although my yearly birthday gifts to him involved "what ever he wanted" in bed )

I'm fairly sure that neither of us spent over $30 on our gifts. heh

Thing is, when we met we were both college students. I'm still finishing and although I work part time while attending full time that money goes entirely to rent/bills/gas/food. Although he dropped out of classes he has been struggling to get a good job.

Sooo, as cheap, poor, student-loan indebted 20 somethings, the idea of spending more than $30 on a gift is beyond us. heh I'm also not one for frivolity, so I don't want to be given items that I don't NEED, whatever I need I have probably already gotten it myself. We don't exchange cards and he's never bought me flowers (which are absurdly overpriced when you attempt to calculate their actual usefulness.)

Every so often we surprise each other with paying for each other's dinner or just picking up the cost on something the other is going to buy such as paying for gas for the others car.

I think for us it works because we both know we're not in a stage in our lives where we can spend much money on each other. It's been communicated and that's important.

[DSM-3.1415926]

Originally Posted by JoeS21

Value of gift is more important to me than what I actually spend. Price and value don't always equate.

Amen to that, brother, and you're most smart to realize this.

Originally Posted by Odee

I'm fairly sure that neither of us spent over $30 on our gifts....

Sooo, as cheap, poor, student-loan indebted 20 somethings, the idea of spending more than $30 on a gift is beyond us.

Guess what? My wife and I are 50-something, 30.5 years married and nearly debt-free, and we're close to that point. By mutual agreement it's no more than $50 for birthdays, $50 each for anniversary, and $50 each for Christmas. We've heard enough credit-card horror tales and steadfastly wish to avoid them.

Also: Anyone who's creatively inclined can source gifting to him/herself. Doesn't cost me a ha'penny to write my wife a love poem, or her one to write me a love song.

[hvert]

We have a $20 limit for most occasions but we've both done extravagant gifts when we've found something perfect i.e. sailing lessons, a weekend getaway.

Both of us are in IT/programming, so we make good money. We both seem to work for a few years, save money, and then take a few years off, not at the same time -- so one of us is usually more posh than the other. We also buy small gifts for each other throughout the year, just things we see that we think the other will like. We are bf/gf and have been together 6+ years.

[Sabrina]

I really don't think value is important. Obviously I'm not suggesting one goes out and buys a ridiculously expensive gift, but a gift bought with thought and love is what counts.