[lemoncrow]

So been in a really lovely realtionship. Everything was great, even got a proposal ring. But two- thre weeks ago we started arguing... arguing about anything... he started being cold, I got upset cause of that, he got agry cause of that, I got more upset and he got more angry.. Once I decided to take some of my things from his home (books, just needed to give them to a friend).. amd instead of just taking the books I decided to try and talk to him, try to stop the arguing... instead of that I think I stopped our relationgship...
I know my mistakes... got a grip, got a hold of myself finally but now I just just don't know are we together or not...
Thing is...
He said it's over when he was really angry at me for trying to talk to him when all he wanted was to be alone for a bit...
Scond, his best friend keeps telling me we will be back together for sure if I honestly got a grip of things..
Third... Also his friends admited that if we actually would break up he wouldn't talk, would just delete me from everywhere and that would be it.
Fourth... He didn't change his relationship status anywhere to single... just hid it so it wouldn't be public...
Fifth..he talk to me...

BUT... on the side of all these things I don't see or feel needed to him, don't feel or see that he misses me or needs me... and because of that I don't know if we are together or not....

[lemoncrow]

The biggest reason I'm writing here is because I really feel huge insecurity in everything, fright that doesn't let me sleep , eat..
I managed to get through this I can keep up with eating, I try to sleep, I talk to people about non relationship related topics.. I really do try hard to get a grip of things and learn to control myself. But as far as it goes sometimes I do feel like I'm up to beak apart..
I can't understand does the person I need and love so much want to be with me, does he even miss me...

Atm he is very ill and irritated cause of that, that's what I know from his best friend.
I just really want to know where I stand now.. Don't want to stand on a boarderline because I had one similar situation before and I waited for months, months and months for the person to make up his mind... and it did hurt a lot... that's one of the reasons I'm scared too...

[SnakeCharmer]

Waiting for months and months doesn't make sense at all in this situation. But can you wait a few days? It sounds as though your insecurity put you into a state of mind where you couldn't resist pushing and pushing against him until he finally pulled away. If you keep pushing now because of your insecurity, you might push him away altogether. I'm not suggesting waiting weeks or months. Just long enough for him to make the first move toward you. Give him enough time to get well and to miss you. If he doesn't contact you within a week, you may have to call him and ask him if you're still together.

In the meantime, when any of us have out-of-control emotions and insecurities, it's really hard to "get a grip," except for short bursts of time. Maybe you could benefit from talking to a counselor about your insecurities and what sounds like some symptoms of anxiety or depression. It's much easier to get a grip if we have a counselor talking us through it.

I hope everything works out well for you.

[lemoncrow]

I started getting counselling last week, have a really lovely woman working with me and my problem. But the thing is I'm really confused because he talks to me.... as I mentioned his best friend warned me that if it was really over it would be over for good, no contact after the same second... and thats what confuses me... he talks , he doesn't let me go away... but after being nice and sweet he goes weird and cold again....