[Travelinglady]

I am wondering what's going on with my BF's children and husband and brother, for that matter. When she and I get together, her husband and even brother sometimes call her. Can't we just visit in peace? It's never anything all that important they call about.

For a good while, she, another friend, and I have been meeting every other week for a visit at a Starbuck's in a Target store. The same time every time. We want to chit chat as friends and just get away from family for awhile. But for the last 4 weeks, some of her family show up, such as a daughter and her kids, while we are there, and sometimes even sit with us. Now today she didn't let us know whether she was coming or not and didn't show up.

Any thoughts? Are they jealous? She sees them frequently, babysits for the grandchildren, etc. Do they not want her to have any relationships outside the family? My goodness, she needs a break--and has even said so sometimes!!

[~Christina]

Good grief ! talk about them stepping way outta line.. Who knows what the cause of it is.. Looney for sure.. Could it be a control issues albeit stupid !

Can she have a talk with them to find out why in the hell she cant have some time to visit with friends?

If that doesnt help matters I would personally just find a new place to meet up and not tell anyone where it is. Seems stupid to be a grown up and sneak around .. but maybe that is the only way she can catch a break.

[hvert]

Have you talked with her about this directly? As in "I miss seeing you alone, without your family interrupting?" My guess is that this has more to do with her than them -- she is letting them know where she is, answering the phone, etc.

I have (had) a friend who started to do the same thing. She often babysat for her daughter. It was a strange situation, where the daughter's husband had some problems and so the daughter did not trust him to watch his own children. My friend's daughter always had some crisis or another and my friend would be subsumed by it. The last time I had plans to meet her (at a bar), she agreed to babysit at the last minute and wanted to bring a six year old.

So, on the one hand, my friend was being taken advantage of by her daughter--- but on the other, she was letting it happen. For my friend, it was easier to ask me to focus my activities around her grandkid than it was for her to tell her daughter 'no.' She would complain about the situation, but felt like there was nothing she could do.

I am not sure if the situation with my friend is anything like the situation with your friend. For my friend, I think it was more of a martyr streak than her family being jealous.

It could be just because it is summer, too -- the kids are out of school. Maybe in the fall your friend will be back to her normal pattern.