Lately I've been thinking over this question a lot and I'm just curious of how many people here believe the idea that there's 'someone for everyone'. Personally, I really want to believe this, but I'm having trouble with it. I want to believe that there's a person out there for everyone, but then there's all kinds of people who die alone without ever finding that one person. What if some people are just meant to be alone forever, even if they don't want to be? What if you want to find that person, but they don't exist? And you end up dying alone?

[AbsurdBlackBear]

I often think that I'll die alone because due to my relationship history I've either been cheated on or dumped due to my social anxiety disorder. I do not believe there is someone for everyone, like some magically predetermined person just for each person. I do think however that everyone can find someone who they can have a lifelong relationship with. There are so many people in the world with so many viewpoints, values, personalities, education levels, looks, levels of motivation, etc. that I think people can find someone out for them if they want. I think for some it can be as easy as childhood friends or as much work as finding some long lost person who just seems perfect for you but you have to make it work to get there. So to answer your question, no and yes. No in that I don't believe there is a soul mate for each individual person. Yes in that I think everyone who is interested in relationships can find a special person for them.

[kevin53846]

I agree with the above.. We should not use the phrase 'there's someone for everyone'.. We should view it as 'everyone can have someone'.. (",)

[lilypup]

I've got a great husband of 28 years, but I can tell you I have met several men that I could have gotten along with and married. I just look for a very kind man who is responsible with a job and is a good father. My point is..I don't think there is just one person in the world for everyone.
I know friends who prefer to be alone. They build their life around their activities and friends. If they meet someone, it is fine, but it doesn't define their self-esteem.
As for dying alone...many families are estranged and people die alone. Or people outlive their family and friends and basically die alone. Don't worry about that. I think that's out of our control a bit.

[StuckinRut]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Lately I've been thinking over this question a lot and I'm just curious of how many people here believe the idea that there's 'someone for everyone'. Personally, I really want to believe this, but I'm having trouble with it. I want to believe that there's a person out there for everyone, but then there's all kinds of people who die alone without ever finding that one person. What if some people are just meant to be alone forever, even if they don't want to be? What if you want to find that person, but they don't exist? And you end up dying alone?

Sorry, I'm replying very late to this. But hopefully it will still be of some value.

I strongly believe in the idea of soul mates. Probably this is motivated by a desire to avoid the mistakes of my parents. From what I know they have never been truly contented either with themselves or with one another. Unfortunately my own attempts to find someone compatible have not been successful, in fact most were disastrous. I seem to be stuck in a cycle. But I don't know what it is or how to breakout of it.... Anyway... Have you ever wondered, what are the odds that you will ever cross paths with the one person that you are most suited to in the world, least of all consider talking with them. It might be that you have walked past this person in the street, or stood behind them at a supermarket checkout. So, yes, I have this feeling a lot. It was helpful for me to read what you wrote and know others feel the same.

[glok]

I believe the statement is true. Getting into a relationship is not so difficult. If the idea that a certain someone means you and the other will live happily ever after, I thank that is a fallacy.

I fully expect to die as I have "lived," alone.

[Elektra_]

i dont believe in that, not for me.

[downontheupside]

I think there's something for everyone (like a calling or purpose in life), but not necessarily someone.

[ginsenoside]

It's hard to believe there could be someone out there that would be compatible and want to be with me.

[downontheupside]

Originally Posted by ginsenoside

It's hard to believe there could be someone out there that would be compatible and want to be with me.

I've felt this way often too.

[Arduous]

I believe in fate, and that everything happens for a reason. But, I'm not so sure if there's that perfect person, or soul mate. I think you find people you are compatible with and can share memories. Whether it's a lover or just a good friend.

[ptangptang]

I'm sure there is a soul mate out there for everyone. The person we could almost wear as a second skin. EW that sounds a bit creepy haha ( fava beans and a nice glass of chianti comes to mind) . No you know what i mean . Someone we so totally intermesh with they are almost part of us. The chances of finding that person? Slim to zero. So we make do and kid ourselves.

[Notoriousglo]

No I don't.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Lately I've been thinking over this question a lot and I'm just curious of how many people here believe the idea that there's 'someone for everyone'.

Even before my 1st marriage ended, I began studying relationship things in books and came to realize that our basic problem was the neither of us KNEW HOW to make a relationship work! She was older and had been in very serious and committed relationships before so I assumed that she know what she was doing BUT not according to the things I was learning both in therapy for my messed up emotions but in those relationship books. There were only a few very simple relationship skills and techniques to learn but she would have nothing to do with all that nonsense like: 100% honest, loyalty, respect, affection, equality and some other easily enacted skills so, I finally got fed up and LEFT HER! She preferred to stick with her tried and true methods of control, intimidation, blaming, shaming and endless FIGHTING which I was learning to stop doing in place of respect, dignity and LOVE! I divorced her and married a woman who not only believed in and wanted to use these new and improved skills but we have been using them for 22 BEAUTIFUL years now. It's so easy and beautiful to be polite, friendly, in love and HONEST with a partner but I was never taught any of that by my very flawed parents so it was all new to me. So the bottom line for me is that I could have a good relationship with almost anyone provided we both know and USE some simple, basic relationship skills which very few even know about.

What if some people are just meant to be alone forever, even if they don't want to be?

If they don't want to be alone, they might have to improve their relationship skills and then open up to being found by another person with the same knowledge.

What if you want to find that person, but they don't exist? And you end up dying alone?

Then I'd say such a person MISSED THE BOAT on fixing or acquiring some good relationship skills and techniques that might have connected them to a good partner.
IMO, it's all about skills and knowledge which very few of us are given at home by our equally faulty and lacking parents who had equally faulty parenting before them like a multi-generational disease.
Good luck fixing up your relationship skills - google it!
jim