[Me and my dog]

Ok, so I have come to the realization that I'm damaged goods and ned A LOT of help. My wife is on the phone with her mother, no biggie, they talk usually twice a week. The last 2 weeks have been hell on both of us and I get it, it's her mom. Who better to talk to than your mom when life deals you b.s. The conversation at hand is this terrible iguana infestation we have and why the city won't drain the canal in our back yard. I'm watching TV and here on PC and only participating in the conversation when something is asked of me because.... they're talking about iguanas. I get up and go to the kitchen and the conversation gose super quiet. I softly hear no... no... not now... no... I'll call you later. I thought part of helping to deal is to be open and honest? Am I wrong in asking her what the hell? I'm crazy not stupid. I've yet to see a therapist because no funds=no treatment so right now I'm reading every blog from every person on here just tying to get a grasp on my life. My conclusion... depressed. Very depressed. Bipolar like a bullet train. Little to no self-esteem. Boarderline suicidal. And this God awful fear of losing her because of it all. Do I say nothing and try to convince myself that it's all in my head even when I know what I heard? The suppressed feelings tend to build and bring out the worst of me. Do I say something and give her the "Why don't you trust me" argument? Desperately looking for ANY and ALL comments. Much appreciated.

[healingme4me]

It seems ok to say something along the lines of expressing how you feel about her first, then how you personally have been struggling and afraid that it's getting in the way, and how you've both been under stress with the iguanas and how you really hope that she holds the same view about being open and honest because you care about her and your marriage, then just say how you felt the conversation went hush when you walked in, is everything ok with her mom, is everything ok with you as a couple.
Safer not to come accross combative verbally in insisting it is behind the back talk, but if unhappy with her statement, just say you were feeling kinda bummed because that's how it left you feeling and you hoped it wasn't that because you value her and your marriage and wouldn't want that to affect you both.

[waiting4]

healingme4me has given you excellent advice....I can't add anything else except, that you're not crazy or stupid....and it truly is better to get it out in the open with her in a non-confrontational way. Try to remember, if she confides in her mom, that is not necessarily a bad thing (everyone needs an outlet, including you, so I hope you can get some therapy soon) and unless 'mom' can't stand you, I wouldn't be completely freaked out about the conversation bump you overheard.

Take care *hugs*