[mvolcy]

I have been dating my boyfriend who I met online for about a year and a half. He lives in another country so our goal was for us both to get a divorce from our spouses who we have bith been seperated from for over 7 years. For the past year and half we have been talking on skype Every night sometimes jntil we fall asleep and we will even keep it on all night just to hear each other sleep. I traveled to his country twice and on the second visit, I met his mother and we met each others children. We have had ups and downs in the relationship, mostly because of me and my jealousy and insecurity. But through it all he always tries to change the things that causes my insecurity. The problem now comes since I am eager to move the process along for us to be together because I am lonely without him. I have been putting a lot of pressure on him about finalizing him divorce. Since we met he has supposedly been working on the divorce. The first time he tried to file it as if he did not know where his wife was. That did not work because he was supposedly told by the judge he had to serve her. This is now 6 months into the relationship. I then advised him to get another lawyer since the one he had obviously gave bad advise. I paid for his new lawyer with hopes of speeding the process. He said the new lawyer told him it would take 6 months for the divorce to be final. We are now 5 months into it and he keeps telling me the lawyer said there is a back log in the courts and he is still waiting to recieve the petition from the court. I have been on him to follow up with the lawyer and have him push to get it done. Recently I told him I wanted to be on the phone when he talked to the lawyer to hear what he has to say. The first time we were going to call the lawyer, he caused an arguement, then told me he was ending the relationship because was too disrespectful. I called the lawyers office pretending to be the assist to my lawyer and they said they did not have a case in their office with his name. That became another argument. We made up and told me I just need to trust him because he loves me just as much as I do and want to be with me just as much. I few days go by and in a peaceful conversation I bring up again a out calling the lawyer. He tells me I have trust issues and why dont I just trust him when he says he is working on it. I told him it was not enough. I need to hear for myself so I have a piece of mind. So he agrees again we will call. We set up a time and when it came time to call he kept hanging up the phone and pretended he was having issues with his signal. After a out 20 calls to him and him keep hanging up, I finally gave up and came to conclusion he is avoiding calling because he has been lying about ever filing the divorce. He did not call me back that night, but the next day started sending me messages about still loving me and wanting to spend his life wth me and marrying me. Everytime I bring up about what he did with the lawyer and that I cant what he did. He tells me if I want to end the relationship then do what I want, but he knows his divorce will be final soon. Help!!!! Am I pushing too much or are the signs there that he is misleading me and stringing me along? I want to leave because I dont trust him, but I love him so much and just cant rationalize why he is doing this. If there is any listening ear out there, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

[absentminded]

As much as this hurts, I think you should leave him. Why stay with a man who keeps making excuses? You know deep down you can't trust him, so leave him. I know that's easier said than done.

[~Christina]

You both have been seperated for 7 years? Have you finalized your divorce?

When you have gone over to visit twice have you stayed in his home ? Did he help pay for the cost of your trip to see him ? Has he come to visit you ? You admit that you have jealousy problems and thats fine .. I mean your in a long distance relationship of course it going to be hard to have full trust .

His issues with the lawyer ... well he could actually be having trouble getting his divorce process going .. He does seem unwilling to have you on the line while he is in an actual meeting .. Kinda red flag there i would say .

I think you do have reason to question his motives and behavior.

Why did you pay for the second Lawyer ? Did you actual pay the money to the lawyer or to your boyfriend??? Why could he not pay for that himself ?

I think you need to really look at your whole relationship . There are alot of red flags here. The one good thing if you do break off this dysfuntional relationship its not like you are going run into him around town.

I wish you the best

[Fuzzybear]

[healingme4me]

Has he been to see you, yet? Who's moving where?