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As the title says, friend of mine tried to hook me up. It started fine, we talked a bit, laugh a lot. I wasn't nervous or anything, mainly because I didn't know about his plan until the last time. That was until she said she needs to go. I knew I had to walk her at least to the bus stop, even though she lives in my neighborhood and I could walk he home. What I did is sitting there with the thought in my head, knowing what I had to do, but frozen like a fossil. Until we got up all and walk her. Some had happened the day before that and it was so bad that it shook me up I got me out of the depression I was in back then. I was really determined to complete devote to the plans I had for my future and live, and girls aren't part of it for now. I mean that I wont swerve out of the way or put any additional energy into that, but If it happens naturally I'll embrace it. Now that I think, it was kinda like that, though. Moreover I have low-self esteem, I'm not really good with dating and I hardly let people in, if not even. Basically I'm heavily damaged person. I read somewhere a really nice quote that just made things a bit easier for me. It was something like "Be happy with yourself so being together is a choice, not a necessity". That's way I want to get my things straight first before doing anything else. However, back then I thought that it wasn't a big deal. Yeah, she seemed a sweet girl, even better than I expected, but I've just met her. And I just felt a bit stupid for not walk her home. It's а matter of courtesy. When she left I felt awkward going with them so I left and walk home to freshen up even though it was like 3-4km. At first it was like a pressure in the gut, which was normal since the whole situation had bothered me. I just had to keep it there and stop thinking about it. I was determined to stick to my plan so I thought I could handle it. However, just before I got home I realized that I had been thinking throughout the whole time and I didn't even notice I was listening the same song for 30mins. When I got home without even realizing I opened facebook like 15 times to check if she sent request. So yeah, its 02:30AM here and I need to get up early because I have an important interview tomorrow, but I just can't stop thinking about it...
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Aug 31, 2014, 06:32 PM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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