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#1
Sep 04, 2014, 10:14 AM
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The other day I asked my ex when he intended on seeing the boys or at least talk to them. He said to have them see me or call him or something. Well on my way to pick the kids up from school the other day he called and asked if I had already left the house because he wanted me to bring him a couple of his rims when we came out to see him. We never actually discussed, I actually didn't respond to his text, about us coming out to see him so he just assumed we were. I decided to take them to see him anyways and he took them clothes shopping and then out to dinner. He asked me twice yesterday once through text and once when we were eating if I was doing alright? Do you think he still cares about me? I guess he also posted on his FB a couple of quotes, types that get you thinking about the past and relationships. He also mentioned that he woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was going to spend the day doing a lot of thinking along with a song about being lonely. Could he be having regrets about ditching his family? I mean we didn't talk about anything about "us" yesterday but he wants us to come over again soon because he wants to cut the boys hair and what not. I also learned that his friend who he lives with is most likely getting back together with his ex. Could this be why he is thinking these thoughts?
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#2
Sep 04, 2014, 04:13 PM
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Maybe . Is he planning to go with you to your pre natal appointments?
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#3
Sep 04, 2014, 04:17 PM
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He never went to my appts. with out other two children.
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#4
Sep 04, 2014, 04:24 PM
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Maybe he enjoys being a part time father? ?
It's really tough to discern motives, if he's not direct with you. What makes him the ultimate desirable catch? It would almost seem settling, in my mind. He should be paying for haircuts. He should be paying for clothes and necessities. Note the tab, add in for one more, and still get that court ordered child support. Protect those babies... |
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#5
Sep 04, 2014, 04:28 PM
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No he hates being a part time dad. He said he is working hard so he can be able to see his kids everyday because he hates not being able to see them. He said he misses them everyday and me only some days. I am still in love with him and care for him deeply but I just wish he wouldn't have left us. I already filed for support and full custody.
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 healingme4me
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#6
Sep 04, 2014, 04:38 PM
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Well, if he doesn't want to see you every day, then seeing them everyday, seems unrealistic.
Don't subject yourself to being his welcome mat, because he'll keep repeating the pattern with you. He asked how you were. My coworkers ask that, old friends and new friends ask that. How about a set visitation schedule, not one at his convenience without you being at his beck and call? Can he pick them up, at a halfway point? Do you have friends that can do the exchanges for you? Doesn't seem healthy for you to see him like this. Can you block his fb? |
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#7
Sep 04, 2014, 05:00 PM
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Well if he comes to see the kids it will be at my place when I finally do get into a housing unit, I am working with a shelter right now. So he will see me everyday if he so chooses to see the boys everyday. I think he is also excited to be having a daughter because he has three boys (one from a previous relationship) and didn't think he would ever have a daughter. He seems to want to be involved as much as he can but he is starting a new job here soon working as a line cook so he will be working a lot. I imagine he won't be seeing the kids as often as he would like if they are in school and he has to work when they are out but I don't know his schedule or how often it may change. It was good to hear that he does miss me sometimes, it's better than not at all.
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#8
Sep 04, 2014, 08:41 PM
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This breakup is still so fresh and raw for you and its not allowing you to set boundaries. You and him need to agree to a set visitation schedule.. and not him coming to your home to see them.. He can come pick them up and go somewhere else. He gave up the right to call that place "home" when he left and cant just use it to make things "convenient for him." Its going to keep confusing you if he has free rein to come and go as he wants.
Dont fall into the rabbit hole of doubting his motives. Right now focus on taking care of yourself and your kids.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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