[girlsgroup]

Maybe I can get some advice. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. We were together about 19months. I found out he had another girlfriend/fiance and a new born baby with her. So I left him. I also called the other girl to tell her he was a cheater. That's when I found out he had actually been with her for 9 years. She didn't believe me and he told her I was lying.
I haven't spoken to him at all since the breakup. I don't plan to ever speak to him again. But I'm angry. I'm angry I fell in love with him and he was so dishonest. I shared so much of my past with him of things from my childhood and how my ex (father of my children) had hurt me. I told him how no matter what I value the truth even if it hurts. To never lie to me or cheat on me. And so many times I asked him if there was someone else and if he was sure he wanted to be with me. He always said he wanted me he loved me....etc.
This anger I have feels almost rageful at times. Not always sometimes I don't even think about it, and I'm glad I found out when I did. And I remind myself he's a jerk. But still every once in awhile I feel really.angry.
How can I get over this?

[divine1966]

I don't blame you for being angry! I am glad you not with him anymore. My situation wasn't the same but I briefly dated and really like a guy I broke up with him because he constantly too busy to see or call me, right after it I found out he had s girlfriend the entire time. No wonder he was busy!

My therapist gave me couple of suggestions: you can't change the past so no point to agonize over it, you should be proud of yourself and happy that you didn't waste years on this guy and got out quick, whatever this dude did had nothing to do with you but everything to do with him, he is unhealthy person and you should be glad you are nothing like it, you now know what red flags to look for and you will use it to your advantage in your future, don't let this guy to prevent you from enjoying your life, he is the past and let him stay in the past! And no point to try to understand why he did what he did. My t also said that unhealthy people do very bizarre things and there is no way and no reason to even understand why. Just focus on your own happiness.

So these strategies did help, hope this kind of thinking will help you. I still occasionally get upset but then I think what t says snd I am fine. You are a good person and you should enjoy your life every moment of it! Hugs to you and best wishes

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[Up.Late]

I think what you're feeling is totally normal! I would be angry too.

Again, my situation is a little different.

I discovered my ex was cheating on me when he got a bunch of SMS's from some other girl. I didn't read them, but his phone was next to me so I took the phone to him. He got possessive over the phone and got angry at me for touching it.

I then worked out that while he was working out of town, he was also meeting up with this girl too.

Stupidly, on my part (I thought I loved him), I stayed for years, constantly being cheated on.

When all is said and done, you know the truth. He is a jerk. You got out of a crappy relationship with a total jerk and now are free to find your soul mate and His GF of 9 years is still there, probably still being cheated on by that jerk and that's her choice.

You did the right thing by calling her and you should feel good about that.

I hope you find your soul mate soon and that he is able to allow you to forget that the other bloke even existed.

[girlsgroup]

Thanks it does help