[CherryTreeXx]

I am a 21-year old girl in love with my 46-year old half brother. He is married with grown up kids and we slept with each other a lot of times.
He only wanted me for sex but I still think about him everyday.
I love him so much, my dream is that he would divorce his wife and marry me. I know that sounds awful but I can't help the way I feel about him.
His affair with me was 5 years ago but there hasn't been a day that goes by when I don't think about him.
I love him so much, it takes my breath away. I would do anything to be with him.
I rang him not so long ago and told him I loved him but he told me not to ring him and hung up.
I'm so sad and lost without him. He is the love of my life, I would do anything to be with him. I just don't know what to do. To me he is the most beautiful guy in the world. I could never for as long as I am on this planet love someone as much as I love him. My life is so empty without him and I'm completely and utterly heartbroken. :'(

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I strongly recommend you get professional help, as soon possible. I'm not going to preach what is right or wrong, ... but you do need professional support. Keep us updated?

Take care.

[lilypup]

This one has me stumped. Anyone else?

[NWgirl2013]

It's not that hard to figure out that this is an obsession that is Really Unhealthy for you. Let's just forget for a sec that you are related and point out that you are Not In His Life anymore. He does not want you in his life for oh...LOTS of REASONS!
He is Married and clearly does not want it exposed that he had a physical relationship with a minor. And a relative. It is over in his mind and the previous posters are correct; YOU NEED TO FIND THERAPY RIGHT NOW. You are only hurting yourself continuing to obsess over what he considers a grave mistake. You are not the mistake; his behavior is.
You pointed out that it was sexual only for him, which in real life terms means he took advantage of you, he used you to gratify himself with no regard for the damage he was causing you. He was the adult and that puts the onus of responsibility on him for making you feel as you do now.

My heart goes out to you as you face this abuse. Please seek help, it is possible to recover from such an outrage as this is.
Keep posting; many here will listen and try to help...

[Tazmeena]

I was in disbelief reading your predicament. My heart is also pained for what you must be going through.
I agree 150% - this calls for seeking a therapist. Particularly one whose specialty is abuse of all sorts.
NWgirl2013 hit the nail on the head - you have been abused. Not only mentally and emotionally. But physically as well. He is still abusing you! Please, please, please do not blame yourself. He is not worth your thoughts or your tears. He sounds like a user and opportunist at best.
Please take care of yourself.

[~Christina]

So you had a sexual relationship with him when you were 15/16 years old ?

Please please get some professional help

[Rose76]

Like some posters above, I would urge you to get counseling. And you need a very competent counselor. There are reasons why the attention you got from your half brother seemed so very special to you, despite it being a case of a grown man exploiting a minor. You must have been awfully lonely, and it sounds like you still are.

I totally believe you that you are heartbroken and that your life feels empty. I'm guessing that there were other serious problems in your life before the affair with your half brother started. So you've probably been dealing with more than you can handle for a long time. There should be help available to you, even if you don't have money to pay for therapy. What your brother did was criminal, regardless of how much you think it was what you wanted, too. There are incest-survivor support groups on the Internet that might give you a place to start. I know that is not the category you see yourself in. But you are not the first victim of this kind of exploitation who thinks it was totally consensual and not something for you to complain about.

When you don't feel properly loved by anyone, any kind of attention can feel wonderful. You are in great danger of ending up having more relationships that will be very hurtful. As bad as you feel now, I'm afraid it can get even much worse for you. Look for help now, before that happens. You might ask your doctor to refer you. You don't have to go into details with the doctor. You can just say that you are very troubled emotionally about something extreme that happened to you at age 15/16. Sometimes "Planned Parenthood" clinics have counselors who will talk with you about any problem, not necessarily related to pregnancy. I'm just trying to direct you to a place to start.

I hope you find a wise and understanding person to help you sort out your life. It sounds like you must be very alone.

[Rose76]

I see from your other threads that you are in the UK, so I am not as familiar with what might be available to you, since I am in the USA. You may need to do some hunting around to find where you can get the emotional support that you need. Decide that you are worth this effort. You are.

Your problems didn't start with the relationship with your brother. Something was very wrong before that, which made you vulnerable to getting used by him in that way. But the experience with him made things a lot worse. There has probably been a problem with you getting isolated that goes way back. It's very hard to overcome, but the sooner you start, the better your chances of getting on track toward a brighter future.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by CherryTreeXx

I just don't know what to do. (

I would seek some kind of therapy or support group.
good luck,
jim