[Hotice]

I don't know Maybe there exist other people who think the way I do But sometimes I just feel marriage isn't for me,sometimes When I think of the idea of being tied to someone for the rest of your life It's frightens me.....I am 20 year old and I don't think marriage is anything fun. I don't think I am going to get married because I don't want to live the rest of my life unhappy,my parents are not happy in their marriage,even in films hardly do they dipict married people as happy people, Most of them get divorced before anything,even those we are supposed to look up to in marriage are divorcing including pastors,councillors,and the rest.

What benefits does marriage offer apart Frm struggle fight sadness and frustration, What do people get from marriage? It's scary to me.

Is this normal or am I the only one who thinks this way?

[SnakeCharmer]

I think your feelings about marriage are fairly common in people your age. Twenty years old is young, these days, for a person to be thinking about settling down. You have 5-10 years or even longer before most of your age-peers will be thinking about getting married.

I've been very happily married for a number of years. I could give you a long list of all the good things marriage has given us ... but I won't. Instead, I'll recommend that you enjoy the freedom of your 20s, complete your education or vocational training, find work that interests you, travel, have fun, meet people. Don't worry about marriage for a while. Maybe your ideas on the subject will remain the same, maybe they'll change. Time will tell. In the meantime, enjoy yourself.

When I was young I swore I'd never get married. My parents fought all the time. Other people who got along well seemed utterly boring to me. Marriage held no charm in my mind. Then I fell in love and my thinking changed. I didn't do anything to change it. It just happened. And I've never regretted it.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Hotice]

Thanks @snakecharmer

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by Hotice

Is this normal or am I the only one who thinks this way?

Most people with failed or failing marriages simply DO NOT KNOW HOW to make it work! Even counselors can be ignorant about making a marriage work well. My wife and I studied a few marriage skills teachers like Barbara DeAngelis and Relationship Skills [google them] and seriously began USING the things they teach. We've been together for 22 blissful, trouble free years now thanks to just a few powerful relationship tips and methods. It amazes me how few people we know use anything like we learned like 100% honesty and truthfulness ALL THE TIME - not just when it will get us something, NO criticism EVER, frequent affection with NO hidden agenda, the 20 second kiss, treating each other exactly the way we did on our first date ALL THE TIME, being consistently kind, loving, respectful, good, fair, empathetic, empathetic, loyal and BEST FRIENDS - ALL THE TIME - just like our wedding vows say!!!
Others may find us "boring" because we do not tease each other or FIGHT but our happiness is more important to us than trying to be "exciting" to very stupid others. We have outlasted the relationships of almost everyone we know who were not "boring" but they also FAILED!

good luck learning how to make it work,
jim

[OurLadysTears]

It is different for everyone. Maybe 10-15 years from now you will feel the same or maybe you will feel different. At the age of 20, you have a lot of time and you are in the phase of actually exploring different areas of life. Marriage or long term companionship is probably less of a priority for you at the moment. I'm 28 years old and as of now, I've finished school, obtained a degree, and done a bit of traveling. I know there are more things in life I would like to explore but as my peers are starting to get married and have families, I fear I won't have anyone around to explore and share those experiences with. Sure you may have the same friends but the friendships always change. Over time, you desire that long term companionship just so you are not so alone in the world. But I have agree that the idea of marriage in general doesn't thrill me. I don't need a princess wedding or anything of the such. The promise of commitment is nice but so many people take vows so lightly these days, why spend a fortune on an event that is really only held together by a string.

[Hotice]

Thank you all for your reply.