[Tom&Jerry]

Today I have spent some of the afternoon reading up on OCD after meeting a potential love interest and dating for a couple of weeks. Before I get down to the nitty gritty; he is a lovely, cute, kind and interesting guy, I am very interested in him, he is also interested in me and there is a spark there. Over the last few weeks we have met up quite a lot of times, kissed and cuddled lots and exchanged text messages and phone-calls. So last night the relationship developed a little further; we didn't go the whole way but a certain degree of bodily fluids were exchanged. Today we were supposed to be meeting up again; I suppose I have been a little obsessive in trying to contact him and he hasn't responded at all. I am feeling a bit ****** off and confused by this. Finding myself asking if I have been just used and blown out by him. If only things were that simple!

I am three years into recovery from Acute Psychosis; having recently been signed off of a specialist team and back to my local Mental Health Facilitator as being well again. The gentleman in question has had OCD and Depression for about ten years; as far as I know he is on medication but has not had a full course of therapy as found it a bit too pressurising (UK spelling). We have talked only a little about this before but he has told me he has a fear of semen; he did explain a little bit about the contamination and cleaning issues he has around this but we haven't gone into a lot of depth.

Obviously I didn't think anything of last nights activities but it has been gradually dawning on me all day that this could have had quite a big effect on him. As he is not responding to my texts and calls I do not know where to begin with talking about this with him. I am also questioning wheather this relationship will be a good or bad thing for me personally. I have felt quite stressed by this today as lack of contact does generally stress me out. Also having read up about fear of semen and OCD treatments today and talking with a psychologist friend I am coming to the conclusion that perhaps this is going to be too much for me to handle.

Because he is a lovely man and has a lot of positive traits I would like to try to help him overcome this illness. At the moment thought I think it might be best for my mental health to friend zone him and see what I can do from there. I do need quite a lot of emotional support myself so think I would struggle somewhat with supporting someone else in a similar way. I would like to hear some opinions of others on this.

Previously I had an 8 month relationship (and two year friendship) with a man who has Depression. Although he is lovely as well and we remain very close friends; in a relationship setting I couldn't handle the lack of communication and support.

I am looking for a bit of perspective on two people with mental health problems dating/having a relationship. Can relationships like this actually work out? Would I be facing the same problems/amounts of stress from a relationship with someone with Depression and OCD (fear of semen) as I have faced in a relationship with someone with Depression. Has this relationship the potential to be more stressful?

I am really considering walking away from this for the sake of my own mental health but I went in to this dating process with an open mind and at the time and decided to give the man a chance.

Please discuss.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Tom&Jerry! I honestly don't think you will be able to help cure him of his problem. He needs to get professional treatment. It is possible for people with certain disorders each to have a good relationship, but I don't think this one sounds very promising.

[Tom&Jerry]

Thanks it's what I was thinking anyway. Seems too stressful for me seeing as I am largely pushing through my recovery by myself anyway.