[littlebitlost]

Nige,

I realise you've made up your mind, but I really need to write anyway - It's not done for me yet, I need to beseech you for a second chance to try it properly. Meeting you was a huge surprise, and only once before have I had that kind of Zing with a man.

As soon as I got your text thursday night I didn't take any appointments, and had kcf with a mate. I only had one quick booking, which covered costs. After you send me that txt my heart just sank, and I couldn't work anymore. Because I just don't want to. I don't drive highways at night RE: the car accident, or I would've come back last night instead of Friday morning.

I'm not the type of girl to change who I am for anyone. It's just not me. But my work isn't *who I am* - It's something I've done. It's quick, easy money and has never bothered me before. I've had a rough trot since 2010, I've handled SO much crap, and have somehow been strong enough to deal with it, and I only JUST thought things were looking up for me now. And meeting you was a part of that. I really hope that you can accept my *past*, because that's what it is now. I guess it comes down to whether or not you can accept me despite my past. Because that's what I'm asking of you. Lots of people have a past. I was just really honest about it. And have revised it

This past week was a false start, and rather a ****up on my part. I never intended to mislead you, or untruly represent myself. I've thought a lot about this a lot, and try to not cry over spilled milk. However it's hard to NOT when it's spilled booze. :/

I was thinking of retiring from work regardless of if Something happened between us. I really don't know how to explain it all to you. I figured I'd end the year working, and then do Europe and come back and be settled properly to start my 30's. Ideally not alone.

It's quite ironic actually, when I got down to Bris, and was enjoying maccas free wifi, I had flicked into job searching. Un****ingbelievable. But the decision to stop work was there, before you said you had a problem with it. I hope that can mean something to you. I am an amatuer regards dating, so I ask for *another chance* at getting it right. I feel quite stereotyped, as in my opinion, what's past is past, and we only get now, and the future. :/

I didn't expect to meet someone like *you* so fast. It was very unexpected, and kinda came outta left field. We have so much in common, and a really good basis for having something real together. I really felt like you understood me. And I get you as well. Yes, early days, but it was something completely worth exploring. Of that I'm sure. Because that's what I'm asking of you. Can we please start again??

xxx
Bethie

[bluekoi]

littlebitlost,

[lilypup]

hugs...hope things get better.

[Bill3]

.