[Raynaadi]

Ok.....um, I don't know about dating. I'm 28 years old, and have never really dated. Always just kinda met a guy and suddenly we were in a relationship. So here's my current situation:

I've been noticing this guy for months now, and its one of the reasons I ended my last relationship, because I kept noticing other guys (more then just a human female sense, I wanted to get to know this guy and that's one of the things that made me realize I wasn't happy in my relationship.) Well, we've been talking even more. It started off as just saying hi how are you etc. Then last week, he went out with us to eat and we talked some more. In the course of conversation, karaoke came up, and he mentioned that he used to do a lot of drunken karaoke back in his wild days, as did I.

The next day, my friend asked me when we could do karaoke again again sometime, and a plan was hitched to do it tonight. I invited him, as well as others, so its a group thing. He got on myspace that week, when I told him that's how we all communicate about these things. We exchanged phone numbers a couple days ago. We're doing a duet tonight.....that Sheryl Crow/Kidd Rock song 'Picture'. So he was gonna get it on iTunes but then I told him I have it, so I emailed it to him.

Last night I saw him leaving with another girl.....I got so jealous. The rest of us met up at the diner and I was all sad because he had said he was gonna go, but then left with this girl. So I'm almost done with my meal when he shows up at the diner!! My girlfriend being the brave woman she is says "Where were you??" Haha....he promptly explains that he had dinner with his boss and his boss' girlfriend. Then he looks directly at me and says, "That's the girl you saw me with." Seems to me like he was making sure I knew who she was, and that it wasn't anything, and then he raced to the diner to hang out, and pulled a chair up at our table. So thats the history.

Can I just say that I really like this guy?? He's smart, funny, witty, very very cute......and I think tonight is kinda like a date? I mean we're singing a duet together.....I know its a group setting but....he's gonna be the only guy there.

I guess my question is this, what do I do now? Just continue to flirt so he knows I'm interested? I don't want to jump into a relationship with him, I just want to date him and get to know him more. But I really like him. I just don't want to do anything stupid. HELP!!!!

[bebop]

sure seems he is interested also so take it one step at a time. see where it goes. good luck!

[lesbo]

Hi Ray
From what you have said, it seems like he is interested in you. If he was not, he would not have found it necessary to make sure you understood that the woman you saw him with was not someone he wanted to be with or was interested in.
I think you should let him know how you feel... not by telling him but rather by continuing to flirt with him. Just because you are interested in him, does not mean that you have to get into a relationship with him.
Let him know that you enjoy his company and would like to get to know him better....and sing many more duets with him.....
Enjoy

[Raynaadi]

Hehe.....in the email I sent him with the song attached, I said "it was good to see you at the diner tonight." I think by now he should know......Hey guys.....what do you think? Do you think he's picked up on the clues?

[cajun]

Ray, from a mans perspective, looks like he is interested. Whether it was the bosses daughter or a date, there is no commitment right now so why worry. I don't think your friend helped matters. It's OK to be jealous, but don't let him know. Men run from women who are posessive right off the bat. That is the message that your friend is sending. Flirting and hard to get mix works best. Men chase the ones that run away. Just our nature. Just my humble opinion.

[Raynaadi]

Hmmmm.................chewin on this. Thanks Cajun!

[Raynaadi]

Wow......I had SO MUCH fun with him last night!!! We ended up going out to eat before the karaoke and talked talked talked....it was really nice. Then we went to karaoke and he was razzin me about the music selection (which was very small) because they didn't have my "comfort" song that I always start out with, so he was joking that I had to get out of my comfort zone. We got on the subject of relationships before karaoke started because we were talking about some friends, and he said he's gonna try to do the suggsted first year of not dating (we're both in recovery and he's coming up on 8 months sober). I'm going to respect any boundries he sets for himself, but I plan to wait for him! Its obvious that we like each other, but nothing is happening RIGHT NOW which is good because thats how I've always done things. But man do I like him....I felt sad last night when I got home because I missed him! I probably won't see him today, but will tomorrow at the meeting.

So the update is, we had a great time, but we're not jumping into anything at this time, which is a good thing. And I am definetly smitten. =)

[Raynaadi]

Oh!!!! And he can SING!!!!!!! My friends were text messaging me asking if we were talking so I guess its pretty obvious hahah. They said he stared at me when I sang. *swooooon* !!!!!!!!!!!

hi ray

so glad you had a wikked time. thought about you last night!!
just take things step by step and enjoy getting to know each other.

love jin xxxxx

[sabby]

WooooooooooooHooooooooooo!!! ((((Rayna))))

Nothing better than two souls finding each other to lift ones spirits! So glad you had a good time last night. I'm sooooo very happy for you!

[Raynaadi]

Yeah.....I can't get him outta my mind. He's such a sweatheart. I'm liking just getting to know him. Ima smitten kitten!

[sabby]

MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :-D

[Raynaadi]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

[jlove973]

I am glad that you are happy!!!

[Raynaadi]

We hung out again tonight. He was doing laundry right by the meeting place and I had just gotten some bad news about a friend. I hung out with him while he did laundry and we talked talked talked again.....he's so easy to talk to, so interesting. Even if this doesn't ever go anywhere, he's gonna make a GREAT friend.

[Raynaadi]

Cajun,

I had to reply to your post because it got me thinking about just being myself around him and not trying to force him to like me, like I would have in the past. I'm just being a friend right now, getting to know him. Not being pushy in any way and its making the friendship so comfortable. Something so simple.....but in the past, I would sabatoge the beginning friendship with guys because I'd try to force a romantic relationship right off the bat, getting my claws in so to speak. So your post helped me realize to just "go with the flow" and take it as it comes and be myself, and we're having a good time just talking because of it.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Rayna

[cajun]

Bless you Rayna, somebody agrees with me.

[Raynaadi]

What better way to learn about men then from a man. I care about this guy. So its important to me.