[Julieee123]

Hello everyone
It has taken a lot of courage for me to post here as I'm not sure anyone will have an answer to my problem.
My name is Julie, I've been with my husband since I was 14 and he was 17. I am now 55 and he is 58. My problem is that my husband is constantly accusing me of looking at other men. Nothing is further from my mind, I love my husband dearly and have no desire for any other man. Why is he suggesting such things?. I know something isn't right but not sure what. I know he feels really conscientious of losing his hair and the fact he is going grey, but I'm only 3 years younger than him and am going grey myself. I constantly reassure him that I love him and I don't mind that he's getting older, we've shared so much over the years why would a few grey hairs mean anything??. Is he depressed?. I've suggested going to the doctor but he refuses to see anything's wrong. Thanks for reading.

[healingme4me]

It could be depression.

Clearly something is wrong, when false accusations fly. Could work on not soothing his fears, with constant reassurance. Could tell him, it either stops or the next step is couple's therapy. His insecurities are displaying a lack of trust on his part, and relationships don't fare well without trust.

[Julieee123]

Thank you for your reply. I know he doesn't trust me, he as said that often. I haven't given him any reason not to trust me. He seems to have dark days, maybe 3 or 4 days then he will be back to the man I love and married. But not knowing when the next episode will happen is driving me insane

Often the person who protests loudly that their spouse is cheating could be cheating themselves and feeling guilty they are trying to deny what they are doing by accusing their spouse. You have the choice of sitting down with your husband and asking him to prove you are cheating and if he cannot he should drop it as you are getting tired of defending yourself. If this does not work then you both should seek marriage counseling.

[~Christina]

Early dementia can make people act this way.. Just a thought

I hope things settle down for you.

[ChipperMonkey]

There is nothing wrong with you. He is the one who is possibly depressed, possibly insecure, possibly cheating on you....the list goes on. The TRUTH is that EVERYBODY looks....yes, everybody! Its actually healthy. The line is that you don't ogle others in front of your partner, you don't make it obvious, and you don't disrespect them, either. But, to say that after the "I do's" that you'll never even look at another man again? Completely unrealistic.

[lilypup]

I am 55 and would feel very uneasy if this started happening with my 59 YO husband. I would encourage going to talk to someone.