[Pazzo01]

Hi there!

I'm a 22 year old guy, and I have been in a relationship for almost 4 yers.

The thing is, i'm really missing the excitement of being single - and therefore i'm contemplating to break up with her.
The thing is, I really like her - and breaking up with her will be so tough (breaking the news to my family, her family etc.) and furthermore i have very few friends left since I've become quite a bore since i got into this relationship.

So, I need your help to make a decision! Let me break down the pros and cons about breaking up:
Cons:

• I like her
• Telling family will be tough
• Might get lonely
• What if I never find one as good as her?
• Or regret?

Pros:

• Live my life at fullest
• The excitement of meeting a new person and getting intimate
• Perhaps find a more attractive partner
• She did cheat on me at one time, which ever since has hurt my ego
• I feel like I'm too young to commit myself for the rest of my life
• There's lots of fish in the sea
• Socialising again will be healthy. I don't feel i can do this while i'm with my gf, as i'm a comfort-craver and can't resist the temptation to stay home from a night out, to just chill, watch TV and eat pizza with her instead.

THANK YOU!!!

[NYgirl21]

I would say the pro list is probably more important at this time in your life. I have watched many men (my ex husband to be included) stay in relationships because they were "scared" or "comfortable", and then it ends up worse- wasting each others precious time and someone ends up more hurt. You are young, and if you are having an "urge" to be intimate with another or explore options, you probably need to get that our of your system before committing to one woman. You owe it to yourself and to her to be honest, even if friends and family disagree. Now if you look at this woman and see her as the mother of your child, or your wife- then keep her, everyone goes through times of doubt or questions things but I worry with relationships that start so young, I have seen a pattern where the men decide later on down the road to "explore" or end up cheating because they suppressed those feelings.

Dig really deep to decide what it is about her that is keeping you with her. I personally want to be with a man that looks at me and wants no one else, knows I will be his wife and mother of his children, and It has taken me a little while to find that man- who I find is usually in their mid 30s.

Don't make the mistake my ex did in dragging me along for 6 years and a divorce at 29... I have a responsiblity in that also by not recognizing a non-commital man, but I wish he would have been honest with me and himself and walked away so I didn't have to heal the pain of infidelity and starting over at almost 30. Wish you the best.

[ChipperMonkey]

I SAY YES!

Why?

You didn't say that you love her. After 4 years, you only 'really like' her.

Cut her loose.

I would have been gone a lot sooner as love is important.

Please don't backtrack now and say that you do love her....you stated "like" twice, and even if it was an oversight, your subconscious mind is saying that this isn't the passionate LOVE you are looking for.

[ChipperMonkey]

PS Anytime anyone asks if they should break up, 99% of the time the answer is yes...

Why?

Because when you're with someone, you should KNOW that you want to be with them. You don't show that. In effect, you're giving a bunch of reasons to stay with her that don't amount to a pile of beans. If a guy told me he stayed with me for a long time because it was easier than breaking up and having to tell other people (as opposed to simply wanting to be with me) then I'd want to punch him.

[~Christina]

Be a gentleman and break up with her.