[flytomoon]

I often feel I'm not loved and get jealous easily. when this happens, I withdraw myself, but actually I'm trying to get attention from people from whom I want to get love. Then if I like sb, I pretend I don't care and say sth against them deliberately. of course these people leave me. what's the problem with me? what can I do if i want to change this?

[Arwen_78]

So you feel like you sabotage yourself?

Why do you really think you do this? Is it something from your past maybe or is it you feel unworthy of their love?



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[flytomoon]

Originally Posted by Arwen_78

So you feel like you sabotage yourself?

Why do you really think you do this? Is it something from your past maybe or is it you feel unworthy of their love?



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I don't know.

[Arwen_78]

I think that maybe you should ask yourself why do you think you do this? Do some soul searching. I do find that a lot of the world today to base "love" on the idea that there is no ups and downs in life. Maybe you just haven't met the right person who will stick out these moods of yours.

I would work on the jealously as that is a big relationship killer. Think of it as grains of sand in you hand, what happens when you try to hold on to it tighter?

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[flytomoon]

Originally Posted by Arwen_78

I think that maybe you should ask yourself why do you think you do this? Do some soul searching. I do find that a lot of the world today to base "love" on the idea that there is no ups and downs in life. Maybe you just haven't met the right person who will stick out these moods of yours.

I would work on the jealously as that is a big relationship killer. Think of it as grains of sand in you hand, what happens when you try to hold on to it tighter?

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mmmmm, I know if hold on to it too tight then lose it. but can't control myself not to do so...
I feel lonely in this world sometimes, even some parents cannot love kids unconditionally.
my thought is in a mess, I don't know what to think

[PowerOfNoSelf]

Accept and be OK with who you are - love yourself first, this brings self-confidence and security. Set your mind to this and work at it (every hour of every day) until you are satisfied!

Being loved and loving others will easily follow.

[flytomoon]

Originally Posted by PowerOfNoSelf

Accept and be OK with who you are - love yourself first, this brings self-confidence and security. Set your mind to this and work at it (every hour of every day) until you are satisfied!

Being loved and loving others will easily follow.

What does it exactly mean loving oneself? Of course I'm not confident all the time, but not always. How to practice to love oneself? any hint? or any book recommended to read?

[PowerOfNoSelf]

To me loving yourself and practicing it looks like:
-accept your faults
-being awake and aware of the many thoughts in your head and choosing to not hold onto any negative ones but acknowledging them, then letting them go
-when you pass a mirror look into and tell yourself "I love you" (you will start to believe it!)
-care for your body (exercise and choose good food)
-accept compliments whole-heartedly, never discount them

A couple resources for you:

21 Tips to Release Self-Neglect and Love Yourself in Action

The Wisdom of No Escape: How to Love Yourself and Your World by Pema Chödrön ? Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists