How do I tell my fiancé that I don't feel love anymore?

Hi Guys

I've been fighting severe depression for about 8 years now with varying levels of success. Through several toxic relationships. All the while I was holding down decent paying jobs in my career industry, since graduating high school and undertaking tertiary education (I feel I have done well combating this monster and all the while being able to convince the outside world that nothing is wrong).

About twelve months ago I met and fell in love with a beautiful woman who was intelligent, funny and caring, however she is also chronically ill and will be for the rest of her life, this does not bother me as I find I naturally want to and am able to be supportive of her struggle through the pain, all the while encouraging artistic and creative spontaneity (something none of her previous partners did).

Our relationship was going excellently, we loved each other and made all of our friends sick with how cute we were, we got engaged to be married after six months of courting and everything was going well.

Until we had to move house under stressful circumstances and I started having breakdowns every single day (before it was one big one roughly every six months), I managed to scrape enough money and people together to form a functioning household in a new rental place. And was able to seek chemical and psychiatric help through an arduous process where I was bounced from clinic to clinic because I have a fulltime job (in my country it is assumed you don’t need help if you can keep a hold of a fulltime job, and most of the help is setup for those already receiving welfare).

At this stage I am on generic Lexapro and apart from some physical side effects (constant nausea, brain zaps, tiredness during the day and retarded ejaculation. [T.M.I? Mods please advise if necessary]) I have found that it has dispelled the constant sadness and feeling of having a weight in my core that plagued me every second of every day, it has stopped the breakdowns in their tracks, and I feel clearer and more in charge of my life than ever.

The only problem is my fiancé, this medication has helped me see through the abuse I constantly put up with, for example being screamed at and harassed over private message when I post anything on social networks, being constantly guilt tripped if I accidentally slip up and say something that is “wrong” (which is hard when your memory acts like a sieve and hers like a net), the emotional blackmail she put’s over me when I’m finally at home from work of an evening, this would all be easy to escape if she didn’t think I was the most amazing person in the world.

I have fallen out of love with this person and I don’t know how to escape from her without destroying this nice person she has built up in her mind of me, or causing either of us to spiral into a suicidal depressive state.
Please help me.

answered other post

Walking on egg shells with your partner is never fun ...
If you feel saying it to her face that you decided to call off the wedding maybe write a letter to her sometimes it's easer to do that then saying it to there face .

Just be ready for the get out of my house , I'm sure she won't take it lightly , no matter how you say it it's going to hurt her , but it's better to be honest with her now then if you got married .

Sit down with her at some moment when the 2 of you are getting along, and ask her how she feels about the pace of the relationship. Would she like to move faster, slower, forwards, backwards? She will probably reverse the question. That's when you tell her how special she is to you, what she's meant to you at the best of times, and that you would like to take a step backwards.

Do NOT have this discussion when either of you is in a bad mood. Also, consider the possibility that couples normally become less attracted over time, usually a few years or several years worth of time, I think. Yes, married couples spice it up, but sometimes no amount of spice will do. It may just turn into more of a friendship/family mature relationship... Anyone, feel free to comment on this last part. I'm not 100% sure of this, but have heard it many times.

If you do end up spending some time apart and get together again later, that would be one of many opportunities to discuss the other problems. The expression, "hindsight is 20/20," suggests that after a break both of you might see things more clearly, have cooled off any anger, and be ready to listen well and move forward constructively.