Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 05:36 AM
Kyle09999 Kyle09999 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Prague
Posts: 5
Hello to all,

this may sound nuts as a question but I assure you that I mean it seriously.(And I am already aware that I am very probably an approval seeker.) So to understand the problem further: What is the point of being & talking with people when not having their approval?
Seriously.
What do people enjoy in that time? What are they enjoying? Leading others? Sharing themselves? Jokes (at the other one's expense)? What?

What is the point of sharing when knowing that others are never going to approve of one another completely because they are basically different people?

(I have now in mind the time in a pub, but it could easily be applied on the time on a vacation by the sea for example.)

K.

advertisement
  #2  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 10:23 AM
IA_2809 IA_2809 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: Sinkhole
Posts: 55
I've seen cases in which joy from not-approval but informal interactions are basically focused on developing better your value system and principles, so doing it and being rejected is part of building a better notion of what you want to believe. In other words, the person cares more for principles than self-images, so he/she doesn't care being rejected nor rejecting anyone who shows some issue with his/her values. I guess for such people is hard to live without nothing to believe/not knowing what they're and what they follow, so they prefer applying such methods in everyday life to avoid a nihilistic stance. All of this is an hypothesis, anyways. You may or may not take what I wrote.
  #3  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 02:56 AM
Trippin2.0's Avatar
Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
I have no idea what kind of approval I would be seeking and what the purpose of approval is.


Why would I need it, what is the point?


So now that you realize i have no clue what approval seeking entails...


What do I get out of interactions if its not approval?


Enjoyment, I like interacting with others, we can share our view points, crack jokes, (not sure why you listed it as "at the other's expense") because its not funny if its hurtful. We talk about serious issues or non serious issues, whatever common interests we have... We can just hang out and enjoy each others company, or partake in activities we enjoy, like hiking, dancing, etc... whether we always agree with each other or not, we can always do these type of things together.


I have a substantial social circle, and even more acquaintances. Not all of them agree with me on everything ,and I certainly disagree with them on a shytloada things.


The point of my interacting with others is not for approval, it's for my own enjoyment, which leads to there's too. We are all different yes, it's what keeps things interesting, like a myriad of flavours in a nice pot, and together we make a lovely curry...


Imagine we were all the same, we were all salt, what a bland pot of food that would be.


I could never survive if my social circle was made up entirely of salt, I would die of boredom. And I certainly don't need anyone's stamp of approval to be the chilli in the mixture.
__________________


DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
  #4  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 11:06 AM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
If not being' accepted' ,despite differences, and it's not a professional type relationship, I am not sure why one bothers?
Thanks for this!
Trippin2.0
Reply
Views: 394

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:24 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.