[Kyle09999]

Hello to all,

this may sound nuts as a question but I assure you that I mean it seriously.(And I am already aware that I am very probably an approval seeker.) So to understand the problem further: What is the point of being & talking with people when not having their approval?
Seriously.
What do people enjoy in that time? What are they enjoying? Leading others? Sharing themselves? Jokes (at the other one's expense)? What?

What is the point of sharing when knowing that others are never going to approve of one another completely because they are basically different people?

(I have now in mind the time in a pub, but it could easily be applied on the time on a vacation by the sea for example.)

K.

[IA_2809]

I've seen cases in which joy from not-approval but informal interactions are basically focused on developing better your value system and principles, so doing it and being rejected is part of building a better notion of what you want to believe. In other words, the person cares more for principles than self-images, so he/she doesn't care being rejected nor rejecting anyone who shows some issue with his/her values. I guess for such people is hard to live without nothing to believe/not knowing what they're and what they follow, so they prefer applying such methods in everyday life to avoid a nihilistic stance. All of this is an hypothesis, anyways. You may or may not take what I wrote.

[Trippin2.0]

I have no idea what kind of approval I would be seeking and what the purpose of approval is.


Why would I need it, what is the point?


So now that you realize i have no clue what approval seeking entails...


What do I get out of interactions if its not approval?


Enjoyment, I like interacting with others, we can share our view points, crack jokes, (not sure why you listed it as "at the other's expense") because its not funny if its hurtful. We talk about serious issues or non serious issues, whatever common interests we have... We can just hang out and enjoy each others company, or partake in activities we enjoy, like hiking, dancing, etc... whether we always agree with each other or not, we can always do these type of things together.


I have a substantial social circle, and even more acquaintances. Not all of them agree with me on everything ,and I certainly disagree with them on a shytloada things.


The point of my interacting with others is not for approval, it's for my own enjoyment, which leads to there's too. We are all different yes, it's what keeps things interesting, like a myriad of flavours in a nice pot, and together we make a lovely curry...


Imagine we were all the same, we were all salt, what a bland pot of food that would be.


I could never survive if my social circle was made up entirely of salt, I would die of boredom. And I certainly don't need anyone's stamp of approval to be the chilli in the mixture.

[healingme4me]

If not being' accepted' ,despite differences, and it's not a professional type relationship, I am not sure why one bothers?