[BluCrystal]

I have known Ian for over ten years, and he has been a best friend, as well as a good person. My last relationship ended in March of this year - it lasted 17 years. Ian was a friend to both of us throughout our time together. There has always been a spark between Ian and I. A part of me has always loved him and his jokes and the way he would kiss me when Dave wasn't looking. Now, Dave is gone, and Ian is coming from Colorado to Missouri where I live. He has family here as well. But he will be staying with me. This time he will not be banished to the couch. We have spoken, and many things were said that could not be said before, like 'love' and 'be there', sweet things that made my heart flutter. He wants to take me to Colorado with him after Thanksgiving for 2 weeks, and have me back for Christmas. I AM NERVOUS. I want so badly not to mess this up. I want his love, which I know he does not give away easily. I'm worried that my disorders will kill whatever gentle approaches he may make toward me. Yes, he knows I'm not exactly normal, he just doesn't know the depth of it. How is the best way to keep my 'crazy' on the low for him? I don't want to scare him away!

[Altered Moment]

Yeah maybe take that part slow. Better to take the whole thing slow in my opinion. Eventually he has a right to know but no sense in scaring him off. i have faith in peoples capacity for understanding, love, and support. Yet at the same time I don't see how I could be in a relationship and expect someone to put up with my depression. we'll see for me. I wish you luck.

[hamster-bamster]

Self-care to the max, routine to the max (on your turf it is much easier than on his turf), your place organized and neat to the max. Basically, if you impose a structure of stability over your life, your "crazy" would not be so apparent. For his visit to you, think through every little detail - what you will eat, where you will go, etc. If he wants to change your plans or improvise, that is fine, but you need to have a fall back plan.

Imagine that you were hiring an event planner, except that you yourself are the event planner.

[BobbyDavis]

Talking from personal experience, I think you should take things slow but you should also be upfront with him about your disorders because it hurts more when you get close to a person and they reject you and want nothing to do with you when they find out you have disorders. I have ADHD along with Asperger’s Syndrome and OCD and while I have been lucky enough to find two women in my life that have accepted me for them there were a few women in between my first girlfriend and my Wife that were all too willing to date me up until I told them what I had. Trust me when I say it makes you feel like **** especially when you overhear them laughing about it with their friends and I hope that does not happen to you and Ian is a nonjudgmental person.

[healingme4me]

I say take it slow, also. You're just still coming out of a breakup. Be really in touch with your needs and expectations. Being able to address your feelings, without flying off the handle or withdrawing and pushing them under the rug is a decent way to be.
He's not aware, even an inkling of awareness after ten years?

[BluCrystal]

Yes, like I mentioned in my original post, he is aware that I have problems, just not the depth of those problems. I think he will be mature and understanding about it if I go into an attack, and he will learn my warning signs of nervousness, and 'head me off at the pass' by removing me from the situation. Thank all of you for you insights, I really appreciate the time you took to think and give good advice.