[HockingPastryChef]

I truly want to know what all your opinions upon love is.

I think this has to be one of the greatest topics to talk about because love brings in soooo many emotions with it.

I have never experience true love with a man in my life yet and want to now even though I know that there are so many things that come a long with it but I am ready to take the many challenges. I know it is so worth it even though there are many times you may not feel it and it is normal.

Though... the love that I experience is with my family and I can't help but think back on how much they have helped me through the years and still today. I then start getting tears and can't help but smile. I know I'll do the best I can to help them and know I will be there for my parents whenever they will need more help when they get older. That is my feelings of love. Oh also can't forget my little guinea pig... I can't help but smile on a daily basis due to his goofiness.

[Webgoji]

Love is an emotion that is concerned with the happiness and freedom of others. So applied to Mrs. Webgoji, I want her to be happy and be able to pursue all her dreams. Ergo, I try to show my love by cheering her on in her pursuits, letting her know I'm confident she can overcome her obstacles, giving her a comfortable, safe place to live. Etc.

What it's not is painful. Attachment is painful because we over-exaggerate someone's good qualities and then expect them to live up to those imaginary states. When they don't (which they can't), we're disappointed and upset.

Love is about the happiness of others, but if we express our love for others appropriately, we gain happiness as well. Attachment is the selfish desires of our self.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

Love is an emotion that is concerned with the happiness and freedom of others. So applied to Mrs. Webgoji, I want her to be happy and be able to pursue all her dreams. Ergo, I try to show my love by cheering her on in her pursuits, letting her know I'm confident she can overcome her obstacles, giving her a comfortable, safe place to live. Etc.

What it's not is painful. Attachment is painful because we over-exaggerate someone's good qualities and then expect them to live up to those imaginary states. When they don't (which they can't), we're disappointed and upset.

Love is about the happiness of others, but if we express our love for others appropriately, we gain happiness as well. Attachment is the selfish desires of our self.

I most certainly agree on your statement about attachment. I'm sure we all have experienced it and it is selfish. It's due to desperation and loneliness when we do not need to feel that way. I will never want to do that to anyone. I want a man to be able to stand his own ground. I see a good relationship as two who can be themselves and independent though they are there for each other.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by HockingPastryChef

I want a man to be able to stand his own ground. I see a good relationship as two who can be themselves and independent though they are there for each other.

This is so important in my opinion. My wife and I love being together, but if anything happened to either of us we would be go on. We don't need each other around, we want each other around and I think that's an important distinction.

[SDarbo]

Often when folks say they love X, they are saying X generates good feelings for them.

The deeper love. For me if I tell you i love you it doesn't just mean you are a good feeling generator. It means I want to be a ally in your over all well being and that I have a hope you might be an ally to me as well.

Romantic love. This is shimmering mysticism. If I go there I'm prepared to lose myself in the other to some extent, err- let me rephrase, I'm unprepared for what is about to happen, -this could be heaven or this could be hell- I don't regret my Romantic love connections but if I can help it I'm not out to reexperience any of them. This love involves letting the other have some admin like privileges in my boundaries and identity. Its not unscary. It can be ecstatic and can be disastrous.

There is a sort of love that is like background noise. Its an acceptance that to spite my brokenness and to spite the world's brokenness, we are all mostly OK. Not achievable all the time.