I hate my stepmum. Help.

So... I'm a teenager and my parents have been divorced for ages. My dad met this new woman 7 months ago but only introduced me to her A MONTH AGO. It was kind of an affair thing with his old girlfriend.

My dad is 45 and this woman is 27. A fricking 18 year age difference. They got married a week ago and i had to be bridesmaid and stuff.

I live with my dad one week then my mum one week. I hate my stepmum. She's a biology teacher and teaches people my age, so she is always telling me what to do. She tries to act like my mum and gets so easily irritated. I don't need a new mother; I've got one. And heck, this woman is only like 11 years older than me. What.the.f.

I just can't stand her. She's young and bossy and rude, and she acts like she owns my dad; she lives with him now and they act all lovey when I'm around. I hate it. I feel like she is stealing my dad from me.

It sounds like there are a whole slew of issues going on here, not just one single thing that could easily be addressed.

1. I think you and your father need to go talk to a counselor. Your stepmom isn't stealing him away, but he may be so caught up in the newness that he's missing some of his priorities.
2. She's a step-parent for a teenager, but doesn't realize she can't be a parent to you. She can support you, help you, but she can't parent you. That's your father and mother's job (see #1 about him losing his priorities). Some time, again with a counselor, might help her find her role correctly as well as put him in the position he needs to be in.

These are just my opinions of course and others may have some better advice than me.

88...I do think webgoji has grasped the situation, and given you some great advice, too.

I would definitely approach your Dad about having some alone time with him, to talk about your concerns and how all of it is making you feel. And be sure and ask him for some alone time on a regular basis----so that your relationship and communication always have an avenue that's safe and protected.

You might also want to discuss things with your Mom. She will always be your Mom, no matter what---and should still be nurturing and supportive of you, even if you live apart.

Both parents have the primary job of making sure you are being brought up well.

A wise step parent can only ever hope to be a friend to you, that is all.

Hugs, and a wish for resolution for you. You definitely need to be heard in this.

Thank you guys.

My mum and dad hate each other and my mum just calls my stepmum 'that woman'. The trouble is my dad does everything with his wife; she's joined at the hip to him.

I think i will try get my dad alone.

Part of your negative feelings for your stepmother may arise from your mother's animosity toward her, particularly since you rotate time between each parent. Your stepmother's authority figure behavior may be more of her being a teacher than a viewpoint on her part that she has to parent you, but in any case, it's a new relationship that will require some adjustments.

My daughters father and I divorced when she was 6. 2 months later he remarried.. My daughter felt lost, the "step mom" hated that she existed, even tho she was well aware "Amanda" did in fact exist.

I had to step in and speak to my EX about how his own young daughter felt rejected unloved etc... He really didn't "get it" he was in the honeymoon phase with his new wife... I did request that my EX at least spend a meal and a few hours alone with her alone. He "tried"

Fast forward , Amanda is now about 11-12 ? She is fed up with the entire situation , her relationship with her father was shyt in general, his wife felt she could punish her when ever and for whatever , I stepped in at that point and told my Ex if he did not stop his wife from doing so I would stop visitation. He was the only person in that home that needs to handle these things.

She refused to go to his home or anywhere with him at all. Lasted over 6 months, would not even talk to him on the phone. He tried to talk her she dug her heels in and flat said no. I tried to get her to go back because she was letting his wife "win" .... That flipped a switch Amanda say that infact the woman had gotten what she wanted all along.

Amanda called her father and told him she wanted to see him alone, she was blunt and upfront with her discussion and feelings she told him exactly how mad she was, He finally "heard her" The resumed seeing each other and rebuilt there relationship.

Amanda took the high road, she was polite to his wife , but if she was rude to Amanda, Amanda would say " Ok I will be the adult here and not play your games" and walked away.

Amanda told her " I don't like you and you don't like me.... and that is fine. Respect needs to go both ways.

My daughter is now 22 , she still does not like her, but it's just stopped being an issue years before.

When I married my husband he had 3 boys, a few times when the boys were fighting and hubby wasn't home, I would step in and ask them to stop , or doing something that was harmful I stepped in... But, No its wasn't my place to be a parent, that was their Fathers job. I love his boys, they love me, but I am there Mom , they have a Mom.

My advice , Talk to your Dad , he's probably "clueless" and decide on boundaries and then bring her into the discussion so everyone is on the same page.

Im sorry your stuck in the middle of a difficult situation Speak up for yourself .