online romance problems

About 7 months ago I met a woman on an online chatsite.. we talked for several weeks before exchanging our Skype addresses.
As time progressed we talked more and more on Skype, at a certain point several times a day for several weeks. And I must say I do have a crush on her, allthough we've never met in real life since we don't live near each other.

Last week we were on the chatsite again, but I noticed she didn't say much to me. So I asked her if something was wrong..
She told me she was talking to a guy in the private chat.. I got a little upset about this, cause that guy is known for his sexual remarks and that he dates a lot of women.

She told me that she doesn't have him on skype, and doesn't know about her personal life. (I do have a past with cheating women, and depressions, so I wasn't comforted by her explanation). I responded with: okay, I won't disturb you, and I'll talk to you in a few days kisss.
She responded with: Have a nice evening kisss. Normally we say goodbye to each other with a love sign and lot's of kisses, so it was a very short goodbye.

I regret that I left her that night in a sudden.. so the next morning I sended her a whatsapp message if she would be online that day. I didn't get any reply. So I turned on my computer and left her a message on skype (she was offline), saying I was sorry about my reaction. She didn't respond to that skype message either, so about 12 hours later I sended another message, saying.. I didn't hear from you yet :S
I'm not sure if she receives my skype messages as she doesn't keep a skype history. But I do think she does, as these messages are new.

Anyway it's five day's ago since we last talked on skype, and haven't heard anything from her. She has been online this evening for 15 mins, but didn't say anything to me, while I was online. I didn't say anything, cause I allready sended all those message and expected her to say something.
I'm pretty sure she will talk to me within a few weeks as she hasn't deleted me from skype. But I don't know how to respond if she does.. should I ask her why she wasn't online all that time? And too be honoust I'm curious if she still talks with that guy on the chat site, which I haven't visited anymore.

Any advice for me? Should I start the conversation again next time she jumps online on skype?

Seems like for what reason that the online chats with people you can't easily meet up in really life take these kinds of turns.

Maybe she has met someone new and wants to proceed down that road. There really isn't anything you can do to make her talk to you.

Maybe let it go and stop wondering why she has gone silent towards you.. Who knows maybe she will pop back up and you could get some answers, but I don't think likely to happen.

Probably best to move and maybe not become so invested as quickly with the next lady you may start speaking to.

Take care. Welcome to PC

Yeah life sucks doesn't it. I think i agree with Christina ( hello Christina). JUst let it go and move on. If she wants to talk again on skype she will but don't hold out much hope. Best for you and your self esteem to find someone else.

Hiya Ptangptang

I'm probably not the best one to take advice from, but I would! I've got a similar situation but a little different. I'm a little compulsive too. If I see he's on line but not answering me it drives me insane. I would though. Tell her you were afraid something happened to her and see if she volunteers an explaination. And go from there.

It's the sixth day, and I still haven't heard anything. I really don't get it.. all seemed perfect before. I know she has been online on facebook, playing games of songpop on facebook, she even challenged me for a new round But she remains offline on skype and doesn't say a thing. I know she probally has spoken with a mutual friend (her best friend) though, as that friend did play an other game around the same time.

@alone & confused.. I'm thinking about sending her a message, but then again I allready sended a whatsapp message and two skype messages. So she probally won't respond to this message either.

Basicly there are a couple of things I can do:

1. Send her a nice message and ask her what's up.
2. Ask the mutual friend if she has heard anything about her.
3. I can go for NC, so I'll stay offline on skype for a long time
4. I send her a message if she wants to delete all of my pictures cause I'm not amused she's ignoring me and I'm gonna delete her from skype. A bit drastic maybe
5. Or I'll stay online on skype as usual, and wait for her to talk to me.

This whole situation is really depressing..every night I'll take along my laptop downstairs in the hope she'll come online and talk to me, just like the old days

Anyway, which of the methods will be the best for me?

I don't know babe. Like I said I'm a bit compulsive. I FLOOD his inboxes on whatsapp, and email...... but then start to think it's excessive..... so I then apologize for sending so many. I sleep near (sometimes with) my phone just so I don't miss him. I'd go with 1,2 &5.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

What a tough situation! You must be so confused. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't have the maturity to be up front when things are over. To me it sounds as if she's decided to go down another road. :-( If I were in your situation, I'd go for no contact. At least then you can feel a little bit in control of the situation. Just take a break, no matter how hard it is in the beginning. After a little while, you may find that it gets easier.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for all your replies so far, I appreciate it.

The day before yesterday she finally popped up online on skype. I waited a couple of minutes to see if she would say anything, but she didn't, so I iniated a conversation.

She didn't understand why she deserved my reaction on the chat site, my face turned from happy to sad and I left in a hurry, and she didn't want to think about what she did wrong, since she was having a normal conversation with the guy. So basicly she was angry at me, and she told me she doesn't want to spend energy in negative experiences.

I asked her if we are still friends, she replied with weren't we anymore?
Then we chatted about 45 minuted about our personal life, basicly just like the old days.

At one point during that conversation I asked her if I talked to much with her in the past. She replied with saying: that wasn't it. Then she asked me if she was the only person on my skype, one minute later following by: no . That was kinda weird, but oh well. Anyway after the conversation we ended with the usual hearts and kisses.

I felt pretty good again after the conversation, so yesterday evening I took my laptop downstairs again in the hope we could chat again. Well, she wasn't around on skype. Allthough she invited me for a game of songpop on facebook. I thought if you can play a game of songpop on your pc, why don't you say hello to me on skype even if it's for 30 seconds

She has a new job, currently working 48 hours a week, and she has her own personal life ofcourse. So I understand that she won't be online a lot to chat with me, but why doesn't she tell me she won't be around?

I'm getting annoyed by the fact that I carry my laptop downstairs every night in the hope we have a nice chat and she doesn't appear at all (only once in the past 8 days).

So I want to ask her if we can make an arrangement to meet up on skype in the future, but I don't want to sound obsessed/clingy towards her.

Any ideas on what to write ?

You could simply say that you know she's really busy, so is the any particular time that is convenient for her that the two of you could set up to chat. Tell her you enjoy hearing from her.

I think you just need to back off .. and if she wants to contact you she will. Your wanting her more than she is wanting you.. seems like.

There is a book/movie that's called .. "He's just not that into you." It could really apply to either sex.

If both people feel the same way they are going to be spending every moment together possible..

Every relationship good or bad teaches us lessons to move forward with.

Good luck

No offense, but when someone says they don't want to deal with negative experiences, RUN, RUN, RUN!!!! This is a person who isn't firmly grounded in reality. They are going online to meet someone and escape from their real life. They only want you around for the good times. They are a fair weathered "friend" (or whatever you want to call them).

I've been burned by someone who said the same to me. They didn't want to deal with any negativity. I was like good riddance to you! Real life is full of happy moments and sad moments and positive things and negative things. Mature people know how to roll with the punches, take the good with the bad, and work through the more negative things in life. I was a bit disgusted that he rejected me for being a 360 degree REAL human being.

I didn't want a "friend" who only wanted me when I was my happy, outgoing self. I wanted someone who accepted me, warts and all. If you want a fair-weathered-friend, then by all means, carry on. But if you want someone who will love and accept all of you, stop wasting your time on this chick who lives in la-la land and shuts you out at the first sign of negativity.

Oh, and yes, my guy did the same, ignored my texts and messages for awhile until I begged him for closure. He finally gave it go me, along with the BS about being negative (it was an issue with my self perception, ie I can't accept people complimenting me well as I've been pretty ugly up until a few years ago when my looks changed. He said I was "negative" because I couldn't accept the new me. Riiiight.)

Its toooooo easy to just ignore people online when you don't want to talk to them anymore. The online friends I want to keep are able to get in contact with me in a number of ways, including social media. These are people who have withstood the test of time and I know they're not going to just disappear on me.