I grew up as an only child with a mom who demanded I tell her every detail of my life. She did not ever share anything with me and still does not to this day. I am currently in a relationship with a man who expects the same treatment. He wants to know every single feeling/ detail of my day but is very secretive non committal about his. He demands full out honesty but has admitted on several occasions that he has lied to me in the guise of protecting me. For instance I had a male friend I grew very close to and he wanted to know exactly what he said in person and in text and it turns out he went and talked to this man and told me he said one thing and it turns out he did the complete opposite.
What is your take on this? Why would someone demand full out honesty and disclosure on my part but not return it?
Thanks for your input.

[jelly-bean]

It sounds to me like your boyfriend might have control issues. Maybe the two of you should consider counseling together.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by EmpressEugenie1982

I grew up as an only child with a mom who demanded I tell her every detail of my life. She did not ever share anything with me and still does not to this day. I am currently in a relationship with a man who expects the same treatment. He wants to know every single feeling/ detail of my day but is very secretive non committal about his. He demands full out honesty but has admitted on several occasions that he has lied to me in the guise of protecting me. For instance I had a male friend I grew very close to and he wanted to know exactly what he said in person and in text and it turns out he went and talked to this man and told me he said one thing and it turns out he did the complete opposite.
What is your take on this? Why would someone demand full out honesty and disclosure on my part but not return it?
Thanks for your input.

I would phrase the query a bit differently.

Why would a woman

- whose mother was and is uebercontrolling
- who sees that she has found a man with that same trait,

does not run-run-run from him?

One cannot run from one's mom when one is little, but a bf is a much easier case - adieu and that is it.

I very much do not recommend couples counselling for you. You need individual counselling, for yourself, to process this relationship and the relationship with your mom, extract lessons learned and arm yourself against such people in the future. Learn to spot them. Learn to avoid them.

Couples counselling is for people who are more or less OK together and couples counselling helps smooth out rough edges. You are with a man who is incorrigible. Couples counselling is not alchemy - couples counseling will not turn this man into a pile of gold.