[LiteraryLark]

So the very next day after I come home from work, I notice on facebook that Christoph had tagged Elsa in all of his posts and left a lengthy message saying "Never let me touch alcohol again, it only leads to dumb, drunk decisions." A week later I talk to Elsa's caretaker (she has a list of mental health issues) who said she is more mad at me than she is at Christoph and is acting like nothing ever happened. I feel devastated, terrible, backstabbed. I blocked them on my phone and on facebook. Since my phone has a weird blocking system all the messages go to the spam folder, and Elsa sent me a message a couple days ago saying "Hey". I don't know what to do. If anything, I'm waiting till the end of their lease where Christoph plans to move out without Elsa, and I hope when she's alone she'll realize what a horrible boyfriend he was and want my friendship back, but I know that as long as she is with him, she will listen to anything he'll tell her. Her caretaker also told me that Christoph won't speak to her about this event. I don't know what to do.

[Trippin2.0]

Wow Doc, what a plot twist.


I really don't know what to say to make you feel better. You should definitely reply to Elsa though.

Just say "hey" back and see where it goes....


Like I said in your OP, good friendships are important, worth trying to salvage. Best not to hesitate if she's leaving the door ajar, as it may be pushed closed suddenly...


I would also continue to avoid Christof, doesn't matter what his story is it comes down to him either being spineless or venomous, neither being desirable traits.

[curley]

Hey Dr Skipper I should probably know what the first post said....exactly to make a comment. BUT....I don't...... So after reading what I read..... I really don't understand when people tell me not to contact someone I have an issue with. Like they will clean things up, or they know what to say for me..... Past experience speak for yourself
JUST SAYIN!! If you really think you need to talk to someone and clear the air with them... DO it. Don't leave it to someone else that ( AGAIN my past experience) does not have your best interest at heart!!!
Bet your last dollar on that every time!!!!

[PennyD]

I would say to talk to Elsa, and I think that communication is something that goes a long way and clears the air for a lot of different things that we may be overthinking or having anxiety about. But either way good luck and take care. I hope everything turns out okay.

[Bill3]

I feel devastated, terrible, backstabbed.

It was a devastating, terrible, backstabbing turn of events.

I hope that you are doing a little better today.

I don't know what to do.

First I'd suggest that you be clear on what you would want to happen.

I hope when she's alone she'll realize what a horrible boyfriend he was and want my friendship back,

You'd like to be friends with Elsa again. What are the pros and cons, then, of following Trippin's suggestion to say "Hey" back to her?

but I know that as long as she is with him, she will listen to anything he'll tell her.

Maybe so, but then I wonder why she texted "Hey" to you. Maybe she is still open to you, as Trippin noted.

I'm waiting till the end of their lease where Christoph plans to move out without Elsa

When is that? From what we have seen of Christoph so far, I would most certainly not count on him following through on any specific plan or commitment that he might have spoken of in the past, or might be currently speaking of.

Perhaps Christoph will have yet another change of direction and want to get back with you again. It would be good to be prepared in advance for how you will respond to such an invitation. Just in case.

[BobbyDavis]

I don’t know the full story here but the fact you are asking this question on here just goes to show you are not a bad person. Bad people generally don’t feel any remorse for their actions and they take deep pleasure in other people suffering.