[alienfromabove]

my main concern i think is how alone i am, how alone i make myself. i don't understand why i can only keep friends for but so long. all throughout my 20 yrs of life i jumped from best friend to best friend but its always just one. and we fall out and i never talk to them again. i have no one now but my boyfriend so in a sense he's my current best friend but i don't know how long its going to last. i give off this sense that i don't want to be bothered, i like my isolation, and i hate people. which to be honest is always true when I'm around people. i cant wait to get away and hide. i feel like I'm saying all the wrong things, i get really paranoid and think my voice sounds weird, or they think I'm stupid. theyre looking at me like everything your saying is stupid and crazy and weird. i usually just say as little as possible now. just agree with whatever theyre saying. i wonder if people notice. and thats why i cant make any friends. why i feel so alone all the time. I'm so miserable because my life feels so boring and sad and i really just want to be happy and have lots of friends and have people to talk to like everyone else but me. Its like people give me chances to be their friend and something about me just says run away.
I just want to know whats wrong with me so i can find some way to fix myself

[avlady]

then fix me too-its all too familiar to me too!!!!

[alienfromabove]

Well it's a good feeling to know I'm not alone thank you. As soon as I find the solution to our problems I will let you in on it

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