[Quietlife]

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriends for about 5 years maybe 6. We have gone through a lot . He's cheated , I've caught him talking to other girls after that. Things were going good but now it's like I hate him. I take care of everything in our relationship even in our household. I feel like I always have fought for our relationship and tried to make things work. But now it's just getting harder. This past month he has been working a lot. He's only going to be working this many hours for this month. However he comes home and either goes out with his friends or straight to bed. We've been planning for a month to go away to see my family and go to a football game, I thought it would be fun. He texts me saying he's not going to be able to make it because he works. Sunday we had dinner planned he didn't respond he showed up at 10pm I was dressed, he walks in and says where are you going ? We argued because he forgot and then he falls asleep on the couch. Then the next day before he says I'm going to be home late tonight I was fine with it because he was letting me know ahead of time so I couldn't complain. He shows up at 11:30 at night then get dressed and is like I'm not sleeping tonight I'm going to Josh's house and Were going to work at from there. I believed him it's not like I think he's cheating but I didn't get why he would spend his only few hours before work with his friend. And not me. He told me he rather be out. He also said I'm pushing him away because all I do is fight with him. And that he wished he lied to me. It's to the point that all i can do is cry which bothers him. My feelings are hurt because I don't know how to react. When I'm upset about something because I don't ask for anything . Just for time . Like Sunday evenings. We live together so I get him still having a life. But it's just like he never wants to talks about our issues. I just wish they could go away but the only way that would work is if I treat him like a total *****. I have no idea what to do anymore. Just want him to be more considerate of me and my feelings. Instead he says , this is just how I am. It just makes me feel bad . If I say you don't act like you love me he says your always putting words in my mouth. It's like I can't win

Yikes you sound so stressed out !
Maybe you both need to give each other some space from each other

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Quietlife

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriends for about 5 years maybe 6. We have gone through a lot . He's cheated , I've caught him talking to other girls after that. Things were going good but now it's like I hate him. I take care of everything in our relationship even in our household. I feel like I always have fought for our relationship and tried to make things work. But now it's just getting harder. This past month he has been working a lot. He's only going to be working this many hours for this month. However he comes home and either goes out with his friends or straight to bed. We've been planning for a month to go away to see my family and go to a football game, I thought it would be fun. He texts me saying he's not going to be able to make it because he works. Sunday we had dinner planned he didn't respond he showed up at 10pm I was dressed, he walks in and says where are you going ? We argued because he forgot and then he falls asleep on the couch. Then the next day before he says I'm going to be home late tonight I was fine with it because he was letting me know ahead of time so I couldn't complain. He shows up at 11:30 at night then get dressed and is like I'm not sleeping tonight I'm going to Josh's house and Were going to work at from there. I believed him it's not like I think he's cheating but I didn't get why he would spend his only few hours before work with his friend. And not me. He told me he rather be out. He also said I'm pushing him away because all I do is fight with him. And that he wished he lied to me. It's to the point that all i can do is cry which bothers him. My feelings are hurt because I don't know how to react. When I'm upset about something because I don't ask for anything . Just for time . Like Sunday evenings. We live together so I get him still having a life. But it's just like he never wants to talks about our issues. I just wish they could go away but the only way that would work is if I treat him like a total *****. I have no idea what to do anymore. Just want him to be more considerate of me and my feelings. Instead he says , this is just how I am. It just makes me feel bad . If I say you don't act like you love me he says your always putting words in my mouth. It's like I can't win

First of all you have every reason to be concerned and even insecure in your relationship and his putting this on you as doing something wrong is just completely insensitive. I do not know how long ago or the nature of your catching him cheating before but the fact is, now this is as an observer not from experience, (I have never cheated) that one that really wants to regain the trust of their loved one if indeed their cheating was a one time thing, they would go out of their way to give more security. I don't feel that he does that. He just feels bad for having been caught. I don't know if that alludes to the idea that he's still doing it, it could be just denial on his part but the fact is he needs to come clean, be transparent and give you more security or reason to trust and believe in him again.

You say "It's not like I think he's cheating" but clearly the framing of the rest of what you've said tells me there's more suspicion in you than you let on. Which is fair. I don't blame you but you have to come to terms with that and decide if he's worth it considering the only one that you can control and change is yourself. he may never change or give you what you need and he seems pretty solid in his stance that he's done nothing wrong.

Also something that stood out for me was that you said "I've caught him talking to other women" Ummm yet another reason to point out that you're very suspicious of him. Talking to women does not equate to adultrery and until you can either find someone that this will be ok with or that you can accept this with him, I think you need to walk away from this guy.

[AncientMelody]

Perhaps this isn't a healthy relationship for you and it may be time for a fresh start.