[Aenigmatica Persona]

I am a very intuitive and observant person with strong deductive reasoning. The down side to this I also have a very strong imagination. I sometimes find myself wondering if I am seeing something between the lines, or is my current state encouraging me to chase shadows. This has a very negative impact on my relationships. I also have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when something seems off and often my communicative approach is seen as affronting. I know it is healthy to trust your gut, and often I am more right than wrong, but the damage done when wrong is often significant. How do I communicate my feelings in a healthy manner when related to trust? Sometimes I just simply do not trust and do not know how to express my insecurity. I sometimes wonder if the real problem is my ability to deduce things that by rights I shouldn't know. Do I need to learn when to leave a puzzle unsolved? Or is it better to take chances, follow my gut, and risk being wrong? Even still, how do I get better at presenting myself in these situations?

[gayleggg]

I get myself into trouble with this as well. Sometimes my observations are not welcome, but I have trouble keeping my mouth shut when something is bothering me.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Aenigmatica Persona

I am a very intuitive and observant person with strong deductive reasoning. The down side to this I also have a very strong imagination. I sometimes find myself wondering if I am seeing something between the lines, or is my current state encouraging me to chase shadows. This has a very negative impact on my relationships. I also have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when something seems off and often my communicative approach is seen as affronting. I know it is healthy to trust your gut, and often I am more right than wrong, but the damage done when wrong is often significant. How do I communicate my feelings in a healthy manner when related to trust? Sometimes I just simply do not trust and do not know how to express my insecurity. I sometimes wonder if the real problem is my ability to deduce things that by rights I shouldn't know. Do I need to learn when to leave a puzzle unsolved? Or is it better to take chances, follow my gut, and risk being wrong? Even still, how do I get better at presenting myself in these situations?

Trusting your gut is good, but your gut shout be trustworthy enough to tell you when to keep your mouth shut!

I cannot offer anything else without some examples. I do see, though, that when you are right, the payoff is small, and when you are wrong, the damage is really large and outweighs the small payoff from being right even though you get it right more often than wrong. That seems to call for an exercise in keeping your thoughts, deductions, and doubts to yourself without airing them out.

[eskielover]

I would also suggest some work on being diplomatic. Not something that I was ever good at....when I saw something wrong I jumped all over it & had no diplomacy in dealing with it.....but I think it was because I saw so many things wrong in my life that I really didn't want to deal with it with diplomacy & I definitely didn't want to keep my mouth shut especially when the wrong things were in my marriage & were directly effecting me.

I think that picking the battles is a good idea...like if your gut tells you that something is bad....determine first how it will effect you & then determine if it's something you really need to bother about or if it's something you can just let go without it bothering you or anyone else in any serious way.

I was in the middle of a trauma that & was trying to actually figure out what was happening & my gut feeling said that something serious was going on.....it ended up being a very scary situation & I lived through it & protected my mother as best as I could but in my protecting my mom, I destroyed the evidence that the police could have used...but sometimes we have to use our gut feeling & the actions it brings.....as I was also told to back off because it would end up destroying me if I didn't....that just made me more angry & more determined NOT to back off.

The point is that every situation is different & all we can do is analyze each situation & handle it in the best way possible using our wise mind....which is putting emotional & logical together & coming up with the best possible solution & just go with it & accept the consequences if you know what you did was right.

Things in my marriage I'm sure I could have handled in a more diplomatic way...but after so many years...I didn't have any diplomacy left toward my H......but since leaving him 7 years ago....I have been working on my diplomacy & dealing much better & actually not saying things or saying them in a much nicer way that gets the other person to think (something that never worked with my H in the first place).

Diplomacy is like....."when this happens this is how it makes me feel......."

[Sinking Feeling]

Trust your gut but say nothing! Of course that's not always possible but is my general rule of thumb I at least try to practice it