Enmeshment with someone

How do you know when you have enmeshment with someone?And how do you know when you don't? I know very little of this subject. But sometimes I am disappointed in my relationship with others. Because I think I am still looking for that enmeshment to be there.Can anyone educate me on this subject. Assume I know nothing, because often I do forget the basics.Thanks

Smilie

Hi Smilie --

I'm not sure what you mean by enmeshment?

Are you looking for a really close best friend? Or an intimate partner?

Are you saying that you are unable to feel close to other people? Or that you don't know what behaviors are required to begin and deepen a friendship? Or intimate relationship?

I'm sorry that you're feeling confused. But you are reaching out here, and that's a start. Good for you.

I have tended to become "enmeshed" in my relationships with men, particularly the last one, almost 3 years ago (and he was a Psych. Ph.D.). Generally, I do not think that enmeshment is a good thing. Enmeshment, to me, signifies putting someone else's needs above your own, much like the catchall term of codependence.
Patty

Oh, okay, thanks for explaining, Patty. I didn't have a clue what it meant.

Here's a "definition": http://sfhelp.org/pop/enmeshed.htm

Great definition.....Thanks, Perna!