Sec. quit - feel depressed

It is too long to go into here, but my sec just quit. I came back from lunch and had a long letter waiting for me which was filled with untruths. She had been ill, but was recovering and I had sat with her many times and listened to her and tried to be supportive. Due to her illness she had needed a lot of time off which we gave to her. I feel that I must be a terrible judge of character.

No, you are not necessarily a poor jusge of character, it is just that we are just too damn complicated at times. Don't feel bad about it, I don't know about the situation but you come across as an understanding person and I am sure you and the others did what you could. Take care and have a good weekend
"darkeyes"

Don't blame yourself for other's failings. People can conjure up incredibly believeable things about themselves making them seem different then they are inside. I know this because I am one who does it. People have always believed me to be strong, kind, patient and able to handle anything when in truth I was weak and frightened. Or there is a chance that what you thought was true of her really was but what she is going through has distorted her thinking and understanding of the world around her. Neither of these are you fault. You did what you could. You have done well.
Take care,
Zen<font color=blue>

Deal with the difficult while it is still easy. Solve large problems when they are still small. Preventing large problems by taking small steps is easier the solving them. Therefore, the Tao person anticipates and lives wisely, by small actions accomplishing great things.--From the Tao Te Ching

Kitty,
I was in a very similar situation in my last job. I was the supervisor for a woman who was ill a great deal of the time. I always worked with her to make sure she had the time off she needed and saw that she got sick pay even when she had none accrued so she wouldn't suffer financially. After awhile her absences got so frequent that HR forced me to put her on a verbal warning. Two days later she came into work, dropped a letter in my lap, said "I quit", and stormed out. I never saw her again. The letter said basically that I was too overbaring and hard to work for and that the company had treated her horribly and she felt that she had no choice but to quit. I was devastated by that after all I had gone thru to try and help her.

The bottom line here is that you did the best could to do right by this person. You can't control the actions of another person. I know it hurts when someone that you've gone out of your way to help does something like this, but it will pass. You are not a bad judge of character, it just sounds like you were taken advantage of, that's her bad. Being kind to other people is never a bad thing.

bp

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

Thank you all for your thoughts. I was just cleaning out her computer and checking her work emails to make sure there was nothing that needed to get done and what I found now is making me question how sick she was in the first place. She was leaving at 3 every day for "treatment" and I found emails to her boyfriend stating she was about to leave, but needed to stop and shop and would be home by 4:15, etc.... Would someone fabricate they were getting treatment for cancer? If so, that is really sick. This is too much to believe. Bptoo: Her resignation letter to me basically said the same thing. I know I should not take this stuff personally, but it is so hard. The rest of my staff has been incredibly supportive and I no they all feel bad for me.