[notdoingitagain]

Recently I've had a huge fight with my fellow. Yes, there are some things that needed to be addressed - seems the same issues as before. What happened as a result of this fight is that I was reawakened to my reactivity because I have borderline personality disorder.

I had to reevaluate the relationship according to that knowledge. Until I get my act together and raise issues calmly and fairly, how can I try to quit. I'll probably just do this relationship over again with someone else.

I also realized that the behavior of my mother that I detested all my life was the behavior I was displaying. Augh!! I felt like such an *******. So, I am owning up to this behavior and striving to work on it.

I have said this many times, "Relationships are the hardest thing we do in this life." What are your experiences with maintaining a relationship when an emotional storm comes over you? Would like to know. Thanks.

[kaliope]

I admire the insight you have into yourself and your behavior. a technique you can use is STP-A. stop...think...pause...before you act. this will slow you down enough so you don't act impulsively.

[lkbun14]

Relationships are very complicated things! :/ I'm currently at a point where I'm re-evaluating my relationship and it's eating me up. I wish that I had been more open with communication with my partner. I now realize how important that is to keeping both sides happy. I'm very stubborn and find compromise hard, but that's another component that I think good relationships need.

One thing I have learned to do is to wait... even if it's for just a few seconds. That break between when my spouse says something, & I respond, gives me an opportunity to be mindful & think about what I want to say... or not say... before I open my big yam!