Does anyone out there love the idea of relationships but when one approaches your life you freeze and can't love? I do this every time I'm in a relationship. He try's to hug me and I freeze. It like doesn't feel good--it's uncomfortable. I want it to feel good bc what I crave most is intimacy, Not just sex. I live in a world of ambivalence.

I never had this kind of problem when I was young. But I have found that, as I've gotten older, & my mental health problems have become more pronounced, I have become more withdrawn & less able to engage in intimacy. I neither want, nor can I tolerate either aggravation nor intimacy. Rather, I seek a state of non-emotionality. This, I suspect is not that far removed from ambivalence.

[guilloche]

Just wondering... do you feel like he's trying to advance the physical intimacy without the emotional intimacy being there? Could you be freezing up, or feeling bad, because you don't yet have the emotional connection?

Hugs and physical stuff can be wonderful - when you have an emotional bond, intimacy, connection, etc. Without all that stuff, they're kind of icky to me. I don't want to hug people that I don't feel emotionally close to and safe with!

Just wondering... something about how you talked about craving intimacy made me wonder...

Originally Posted by guilloche

Just wondering... do you feel like he's trying to advance the physical intimacy without the emotional intimacy being there? Could you be freezing up, or feeling bad, because you don't yet have the emotional connection?

Hugs and physical stuff can be wonderful - when you have an emotional bond, intimacy, connection, etc. Without all that stuff, they're kind of icky to me. I don't want to hug people that I don't feel emotionally close to and safe with!

Just wondering... something about how you talked about craving intimacy made me wonder...

Maybe we do lack an emotional connection. I'm not really sure. I'll have to think on that. Thanks