[mommaxo]

I used to be a really flirty lady especially with a few drinks in me. I never realized how damaging flirting could be in A relationship until recently. My boyfriend (who is also the father of my baby) was overly flirty with a store clerk. He leaned over to talk to her, was laughing and seemed like he was attractive to her. I was more so annoyed than anything else .because he was trying to play it off like he was just being nice. there was an instance before that where me and my boyfriend were hanging out with my friend on the day of my ultrasound and he pretty much paid attention to her the whole night. I felt like more of a third wheel than anything. When he would go to say something he would hardly even look at me. He was basically just talking to her. I was so upset I felt like crying. We had just reconnected . we went months not talking to each other , and he wasn't there throughout most of my pregnancy because I didn't know how to tell him I was pregnant and I was scared of him not being there for me.

.He kept suggesting to invite my friend out to things. He sent me home in the bus and then walked her home. I have no cellphone and it was late at night. It made me feel like he didnt care about my safety. I felt like crap but I tried to let it not get to me. I eventually told him how he made me feel. And he kind of laughed it off and told me he was trying not to make her feel like a third wheel. Then why did I feel like a third wheel ? I asked him if he was going to come to my a.a meeting and he asked if she was going to be there. Why would it matter if she was there or not. He should be there to support me right ?I actually started having doubt's about him in my mind. If I can trust him or not. I want to trust him but some of his behaviour seemed so sketchy. Ii also spoke to friends about it to get their advice to make sure it wasn't just me being insecure or paranoid for no reason.

One of his ex girlfriends texted him when we were together wishing him a happy holidays and asking him how he's doing. I responded with "not interested I'm having a baby with the girl I love . happy holidays" haha he let me type out the msg. And she obviously clued in that it wasnt him sending that. yeah I was being irritational and jealous I can admit that. But during our Christmas break together he stopped having sex with me. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. Like the weight gain was unattractive and of course my pregnancy hormones was sure to be a turn off lol. But I snapped. I demanded to see his phone.I was sick of feeling like there was something going on . after arguing with me he handed over his phone and one of the first things I noticed was that his conversation with that ex was deleted but she was still kept as a contact. I was pretty much ready to leave him at that point. I have been hurt way too much to have hurting me. I asked why he deleted his msgs with her and he kept saying I don't know I don't know. It made me even more angry. I eventually talked things out with him. I put my foot down. I told him I was done feeling like I wasn't good enough . I told him I had a hard time trusting that he won't hurt me again. I try to forgive him and move on but it still hurts. Sometimes I will find myself getting worked up all over again. On top of all of that we had sex twice since that argument and my vagina got really sore and swollen. I made an appointment to get tested. He tells me he's been tested since the last girl he was with (which was a one night stand) and I want to believe him but its hard to. I mean I know yeast infections are common during pregnancy it just has me worried that maybe he is cheating on me and hr gave me something. We do spend a lot of time together. But he is in another city working alot, and we are currently in a long distance relationship but we are looking for a place together to raise our child. Can someone give me advice . do I need to just trust my gut or am I over thinking everything

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi mommaxo

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling insecure in this relationship.

I'm not sure that your partner gets the magnitude that some of his actions may cause you.

However, your insecurities may cause you to read things into situations that may not be there.

I'm not sure why the contact was kept there with his ex. It may have been harmless....

Pregnancy and hormones can make us miserable.

You could very well have a yeast infection - common in pregnancy. Should get it checked out, just in case.

I'm sure once you and your partner are living in closer proximity it may help to alleviate your fears and insecurity in this relationship.

I hope you find some peace.

[Webgoji]

I like Dr. Phil's advice on this one, "You have to avoid even the appearance of impropriety".

So regardless of whether or not flirting is harmless, you have to avoid that appearance in a relationship. It often starts to cause doubt and from doubt come trust issues and then resentment. So in my opinion neither of you should be flirting in any sort of way. It's best to avoid a dumb ego-boost like flirting and focus on the real relationship.

Oh, and from resentment comes the dark side ... I just realized what I wrote above.