[Khione]

Bit of background information: me and L have been best friends since the age of 4. That's 11 years of friendship. In 2012 things got rocky and we grew a bit more distant. In 2013 when she moved house (she previously lived next door) coupled with me leaving the country for 2 months caused us to completely stop talking, for no single reason.. just grew apart. I spoke to her when college started in September, she suddenly stopped talking to me with no explanation and I got a bit upset and spoke to my boyfriend. Didn't speak again until last summer time ish, I told my boyfriend I knew what I was doing and I wouldn't let her hurt me again. Long story short, after about a month of talking she stopped talking to me again and I went crying to my boyfriend.

Fast forward to today, she has her explanations which to be honest, I understand completely. I know what she's like and she has pretty severe mental health and is very self-conscience/insecure/paranoid and when I fell asleep without telling her (we were in the middle of a serious kind of talk), she thought I was ignoring her and was too scared to message me and ask me what happened. So she left it and I thought she didn't want to talk to me, which is what I told my boyfriend. I promised him I wouldn't talk to her again.

Problem is, I went to her house today. My mum and her mum are best friends (same length of time as me and L) and it was a birthday party at their house so I went. I went with the intention of sitting downstairs with my mum and playing games and talking and stuff. I don't know what happened but I found myself talking to L and I was happy to see her again and talk to her. I missed her so much. I was always there for her, for everything. Whether it was her feeling suicidal, self-harming or just feeling down or anxious, I was always there for her. She hadn't left the house in about a year, until she came with her dad to drop me and my mum off home. She said she was finally feeling happy and that it made her feel good knowing that I didn't hate her and that I still wanted to talk to her (she thought I hated her since I -fellasleep- didn't reply to her).

I know she sounds extreme and a bit psychotic/using but she really isn't. She's genuine about everything she says and I believe everything she's said. It's never been a matter of her actually doing anything to hurt me, never been intentional. It's either been a matter of misunderstanding or something has upset her enough to block everyone out and not talk to anyone.

And like I said, she hadn't been outside in about a year and a half (she dropped out of college and finished her course at home, since then she's been outside very minimally - according to her mum), and she's talking to me about meeting in town and shopping and stuff.

In all honesty, I know it's not my 'job', but I feel like I could make her feel that little bit better.

Anyway. The point of this post is because my boyfriend isn't going to be happy about this. He doesn't like the idea of me being hurt by her and he doesn't like her for this reason. He's protective of me and loves me too much to see me get hurt by her. So I don't know what to do? I don't know what to say to him, I don't know what to do... I don't want to upset either people - either L by not talking to her to make my boyfriend happy or by talking to L and making my boyfriend upset. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle and either way, I'm going to be less than happy because I'm worrying about who's happy and who isn't.

(sorry for the essay)

[Bill3]

You are entitled to choose your friends.

Your boyfriend's job is to support you in your choice of friends, whether he agrees or disagrees with your choice.

He's protective of me and loves me too much to see me get hurt by her.

He should love you enough to support you in making your own choices, and learning from them if need be, rather than presuming that he knows better than you do how to choose your own friends. You are not a child and you are not in need of his protection in your choice of friends.